Health, Embarrassing and Work: Sorry Sweaty

Sorry Sweaty

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 12:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 111

You deserved it 9 846

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Same thing different taste

Stress test

By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 606

You deserved it 13 383

By socianx - 18/08/2013 21:23 - Albania

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 158

You deserved it 5 668

Stick hot mess

By Anonymous - 27/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and, feeling nervous, accidentally knocked over the interviewer's Mountain Dew. Trying to recover, I blurted out, "Don't worry, I'm used to cleaning up messes." The awkward silence that followed made it clear I wouldn't be cleaning up anything in their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 155

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 910

You deserved it 370

By perfecttiming - 06/05/2013 15:25 - United States - San Jose

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 646

You deserved it 4 674

By Roostermann25 - 31/05/2016 01:34 - United States - Lebanon

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 988

New face

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 894

You deserved it 6 449

Nerves

By ADH2000 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 018

You deserved it 47 504

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 10:50 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 111

You deserved it 2 117

Fluffydemise 18

Monday 13 May 2013 16:11

And you got a promotion, right?

emmingle 24

Monday 13 May 2013 16:13

uh-oh. he wasn't too hard on you, was he?

Comments

tilly_a99 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:22

Omg rofl

LolxMe 6

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:30

Lol

ZeroPath5 16

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:22

@SuperKnuckels I think your comment would have done better if you stuck to the original script...

kthsdm 12

Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:46

Now you are CEO

TheTheTruthIs 5

Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:48

You should think before you speak

Shenanigans9 8

Tuesday 14 May 2013 11:25

Superknuckles- rules 1 and 2 ************

brianraythai 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 18:13

Knees weak, arms are heavy...

icepick23 12

Tuesday 14 May 2013 22:50

It's all good. As long as you're hot, he won't mind. Rather, he was likely very much turned on by your confession.

rita0ral 8

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:13

Wetty

mac8080 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 7:01

Did u wet ur hands sir lol JFK sorry for you

Raivyn_Grimm 9

Thursday 16 May 2013 15:39

JFK got shot, sir. And I fail to see the connection between him and this FML.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 182

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 510

You deserved it 13 589

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 277

You deserved it 2 766

Today, I had my first sexual experience since going through a rough break up a month ago. The guy finished after 60 seconds of a blow job and then didn’t return the favor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 376

Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 112

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 616

You deserved it 325

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 175