Miscellaneous: Spit take

Spit take

By gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 2 502

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Same thing different taste

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 260

You deserved it 5 588

By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 66 980

So that's a no, I guess

By Marie - 08/06/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 466

You deserved it 4 798

Jello? Is it pee you're looking for?

By Yudith - 07/06/2023 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, in the bus, my Gatorade bottle's badly screwed cap resulted in my Jello being ruined and yellow Gatorade poured all over myself, the seat, and the floor. It looks like I pissed myself, and I still have to go through a whole building where several of my colleagues live before making it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 257

Drunk on the job

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 03:00 - United States - Matawan

Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 226

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 46 580

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 309

By Username - 25/09/2010 04:49 - France

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 520

You deserved it 6 605

By WhyM3Th0ugh - 10/09/2015 23:21 - United States - Sunnyside

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 1 692

perdix 29

Thursday 9 September 2010 23:14

It must suck that you have white hair at your young age.

Primus_fml 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 23:07

What the hell was the joke?

Comments

misfitSuperStar 0

Friday 10 September 2010 0:57

Sucks, op..fyl!! Enjoy your pink shirt!

XxGingerBbyxX 0

Friday 10 September 2010 1:03

I wish I heard the joke

verrronica 7

Friday 10 September 2010 1:17

gross but uhh, you can was your hair and buy a new shirt or bleach it.

itz_scrumdidly 0

Friday 10 September 2010 1:27

OP, you should've turned around and socked that douchebag in the nuts

randomcory 0

Friday 10 September 2010 1:42

You have white hair??

crashsapphire93 4

Friday 10 September 2010 2:02

my dad spit on me like that once, you have my deepest sympathy.

starile 19

Friday 10 September 2010 8:47

HAHAHAHAHAHA

egoeclipse 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:20

atleast it wasn't out his nose...

daniella4680 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:50

is ur hair ok?!? that happened to me once with coke and my hair had been colored blonde that day and a chunck of it turned PURPLE!! cheap hair dye...

skittlebabe 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:58

lol I know dis is random but zakkyzebra ur hot;)

xohockeyfreak10x 0

Friday 10 September 2010 3:10

at least you have friends. it's better sitting then sitting alone.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 1 334

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 797

You deserved it 9 979

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 338

You deserved it 5 319

Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 153

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said , "You're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'd be bad for my social reputation." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 3 844

Today, I found out that my husband’s friend has been secretly obsessed with me for months, and was even writing poems about me and reciting them to people. I’m scared to find out anything else. It's so creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 88