Miscellaneous: Spit take

Spit take

By gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 2 502

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Same thing different taste

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 256

You deserved it 5 585

By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 66 973

So that's a no, I guess

By Marie - 08/06/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 462

You deserved it 4 798

Jello? Is it pee you're looking for?

By Yudith - 07/06/2023 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, in the bus, my Gatorade bottle's badly screwed cap resulted in my Jello being ruined and yellow Gatorade poured all over myself, the seat, and the floor. It looks like I pissed myself, and I still have to go through a whole building where several of my colleagues live before making it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 256

Drunk on the job

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 03:00 - United States - Matawan

Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 224

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 663

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 253

You deserved it 46 572

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 511

You deserved it 308

By Username - 25/09/2010 04:49 - France

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 520

You deserved it 6 603

By WhyM3Th0ugh - 10/09/2015 23:21 - United States - Sunnyside

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 021

You deserved it 1 689

perdix 29

Thursday 9 September 2010 23:14

It must suck that you have white hair at your young age.

Primus_fml 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 23:07

What the hell was the joke?

Comments

misfitSuperStar 0

Friday 10 September 2010 0:57

Sucks, op..fyl!! Enjoy your pink shirt!

XxGingerBbyxX 0

Friday 10 September 2010 1:03

I wish I heard the joke

verrronica 7

Friday 10 September 2010 1:17

gross but uhh, you can was your hair and buy a new shirt or bleach it.

itz_scrumdidly 0

Friday 10 September 2010 1:27

OP, you should've turned around and socked that douchebag in the nuts

randomcory 0

Friday 10 September 2010 1:42

You have white hair??

crashsapphire93 4

Friday 10 September 2010 2:02

my dad spit on me like that once, you have my deepest sympathy.

starile 19

Friday 10 September 2010 8:47

HAHAHAHAHAHA

egoeclipse 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:20

atleast it wasn't out his nose...

daniella4680 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:50

is ur hair ok?!? that happened to me once with coke and my hair had been colored blonde that day and a chunck of it turned PURPLE!! cheap hair dye...

skittlebabe 0

Friday 10 September 2010 2:58

lol I know dis is random but zakkyzebra ur hot;)

xohockeyfreak10x 0

Friday 10 September 2010 3:10

at least you have friends. it's better sitting then sitting alone.

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The Top

Today, I started keeping track. From 7 am to 8:30 pm, my wife, my 11 year-old son, and my 9 year-old daughter screamed for my help 154 times. Every time, it was the most mundane, trivial shit that they could have solved with a nanosecond of critical thinking, but no, easier to bother Dad for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 171

Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 311

You deserved it 396

The Top

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 762

You deserved it 5 641

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 892

You deserved it 1 998

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 380

You deserved it 72 312

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 864

You deserved it 2 958

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 772

You deserved it 3 520

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 172

You deserved it 3 214