Sex, Relatable, Cute and Intimacy: Squelching the night away

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 051

You deserved it 4 958

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Same thing different taste

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 724

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 355

You deserved it 38 335

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 791

You deserved it 4 481

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 674

You deserved it 2 150

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 440

You deserved it 5 222

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 272

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 086

You deserved it 4 263

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 852

You deserved it 4 640

By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 445

You deserved it 31 907

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 312

You deserved it 6 540

qwertycode 19

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

At least he's comfortable around you :]

mariah_1_11 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?

Comments

darkthunda1324 6

Sunday 5 July 2015 20:45

I think op has a loose ****** I'm just sayin what everyone is thinkin

oyevey45 12

Sunday 5 July 2015 21:13

Welcome to the awkward world of the sexually active, not at all like media portrays.

Corneliapresent 13

Sunday 5 July 2015 21:18

I understand your boyfriend's reaction and be happy that he tried to light up the situation by laughing. Don't be naive and think every time with someone should be perfect or ****-worthy. Also those who call the boyfriend immature for laughing, me and my man are on our way to forty and we still can have a good life with farting (even during sex)! Welcome to life and nature, passing gas is a big part of it. Don't take life and everything in it to seriously anyway, it's not like you will make it out alive ;-)

FortCanuck 8

Sunday 5 July 2015 21:55

it only happens to me when I have a condom on and she is really in the mood and we'll lubricated. so, this is a good thing.. enjoy!

jonjoncunningham 8

Sunday 5 July 2015 22:32

You have a lose pussy

MrThump 16

Sunday 5 July 2015 23:53

Don't feel bad OP, everyone's first time isn't the greatest. Your boyfriend would have laughed because he is relaxed with you and he didn't mind it happening....Sure he found it funny but most couples laugh when this happens...... It's perfectly normal.

guttedbrit 26

Monday 6 July 2015 0:27

These things happen, OP. I'm sure he will learn to ignore it if it happens again!

Headcrab 29

Monday 6 July 2015 0:55

That's not a problem imo. Nothing to be ashamed about, and nothing to laugh with. I just see it as a compliment.

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 6 July 2015 1:52

That's what happens when you have sex with a man with a big dick. The air can't compress anymore so it gets forced out. He should feel proud that he fills you up that full.