Kids, Swimming pool and Work: Sticky boi

Sticky boi

By emonsteadman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 640

You deserved it 3 439

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 3 537

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 669

You deserved it 9 995

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 697

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 793

You deserved it 3 393

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 270

You deserved it 2 951

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 623

You deserved it 12 947

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 828

You deserved it 42 516

People of Walmart

By drano - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 3 384

Believe in your dreams

By ZAS - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 165

You deserved it 6 382

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 676

You deserved it 381

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 28 May 2012 18:58

Well make sure u dont save his life if he ever needs the help...

Il_Maestro 6

Monday 28 May 2012 18:58

What a waste of soda

Comments

cassyluvsyhew 2

Tuesday 29 May 2012 16:55

What kind of soda was it? :3

stiegr 0

Tuesday 29 May 2012 17:19

It was an emergency...to beat the shit out of the little punk

zoecw 14

Tuesday 29 May 2012 20:22

Baking soda? c;..

818de60 2

Wednesday 30 May 2012 5:06

should have kicked his ass

mrssuarez2011 12

Wednesday 30 May 2012 6:09

That never ever happens. I call bullshit. I've guarded for 6 years for 3 companies and none have ever had a policy that would keep you up on stand In discomfort. someway or another you'd be released even if you really did get something thrown at you, which I've never seen happen and I've been at some ghetto pools. This is just some sap story you made to publish on FML, goodie.

hollabackbitch13 3

Wednesday 30 May 2012 6:31

Oh big deal. Get over it pussy.

weepingangel_fml 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 2:20

You can't remove him from the area??

Googolman 29

Sunday 7 October 2012 7:26

You are a lifeguard, not a paralyzed hawk. Go over to that bastard and smack him upside the head, pour the soda all over him, and then call for security to drag his ignorant ass out of there. Your job as a lifeguard is not only to rescue drowning people (which seldom happens anyway) but to make sure everyone is enforcing rules.