Intimacy: Stuck

Stuck

By robzzz - 16/02/2012 07:13 - Canada

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 675

You deserved it 3 850

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sendhelp - 03/08/2015 05:31 - United States - Provo

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 593

You deserved it 2 456

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 17 497

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 032

Stay safe out there

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Bronx

Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 432

By raybandy - 24/01/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 272

You deserved it 2 373

Stuck in a rut

By amandanoelle - 09/10/2016 06:42 - United States - Hot Springs National Park

Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 645

You deserved it 1 775

By cereal stepper - 23/10/2016 09:42

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 699

You deserved it 5 547

Bugged

By IEatDammit - 30/01/2009 03:26 - Canada

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic so to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her. Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 462

You deserved it 6 240

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 811

You deserved it 389

Pentium_4 27

Thursday 16 February 2012 12:00

ahhh of course. i'll bet their goal is to do it in every room in the house, so eventually they're going to do it in your bed while you're gone!

yahoowizard 16

Thursday 16 February 2012 12:07

Order pizza, get the camera ready, then wait for the delivery guy to get there. And then profit.

Comments

KeyboardWarrior 10

Thursday 16 February 2012 20:58

Can you not understand that nobody cares?People can be relentless on this side of the interwebz. I was making a joke out of it, but even if I wasn't, there isn't much you could've said to make me take it back.

SaMmIMonster96 6

Thursday 16 February 2012 21:06

129- Not a problem, I stand for what I believe in... 130- I could tell you were kidding, my comment wasn't about you. And I know what this site is, but I care. People shouldn't be harassed over a joke..

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 16 February 2012 21:13

Go down there and start a running commentary like you're calling the play-by-play at a sports event. When they finish hold up a placard with a number on it between 1 and 10 like you're judging an Olympic event. Be the East German judge, have it be something really low. (Which leads me to wonder how many people on this site are actually old enough to remember when there was an East Germany.)

Lilgothangel 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 21:23

Get an airhorn! Blast it before entering the room. Ans use earplugs when you do. Dont want busted eardrum fml's

mikepattonfan 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 21:35

Just push them aside and eat your vegetables

FMyDave 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 21:58

personally I would've made dinner and passed gas walking past them. you would have accomplished two things. eating and ******* up a relationship because they argue about who farted. Ahhhh that smell of victory :D

Kylee1609 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 22:56

I would have gone down anyway... Standard.

cylus13 9

Thursday 16 February 2012 23:00

Sounds like to me you should go down and get you food. If they won't stay in there room then it means they want to be watched. And it's your place too.