Intimacy: Suave

Suave

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 958

You deserved it 4 013

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Same thing different taste

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 191

You deserved it 3 432

By motherlover - 05/08/2014 04:40 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 286

You deserved it 4 370

You tried

By dumped - 26/07/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 682

You deserved it 5 621

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 33 481

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 711

You deserved it 12 898

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 523

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 738

You deserved it 4 692

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 186

You deserved it 7 769

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 346

Mysanitywins 10

Wednesday 8 December 2010 12:09

Mom-1 GF-0

rockhound 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 12:06

Well, his mom IS awesome.

Comments

murphythadog 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 13:50

maybe she's so awesome because she let's him have topless girls over even though he's 32.

AceArctic 4

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:15

Guy equivalent to a girl calling their boyfriend "daddy" maybe? (which by the way, that's creepy as hell)

sy123sy 0

Friday 10 December 2010 1:20

daaaaamnnn u look hot as *** :) just had to say it

GangstaGalahleio 0

Friday 10 December 2010 9:08

what'd?? she make him a sammich or something?

steph8608 0

Friday 10 December 2010 10:48

hilarious!

FerrariCake 2

Friday 10 December 2010 21:12

He's gay. Cut your losses. Move on.

Vlieto23 8

Saturday 11 December 2010 4:31

elaborate. why did he say this?

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 6:02

omf! your life is ruined because of that?

flufferheadfool 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 4:11

HAAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHH I HEART THISSS!!!!

nimzie 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 7:55

WTF why?

Keywords

Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Gross Health Work Ironic Christmas Gamers Holidays Video games Public freakouts AITA Am I overreacting? Gifts Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Racism Toxic Family Friends Drunk Coworkers Furniture Sex Intimacy Parents Lonely Relatable Kids

The Top

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 793

You deserved it 3 231

Today, I never know who’s going to have my kids during their dad’s weekend. He drops them off with just anyone as he goes partying, but calls the cops if I pick them up early. Last week they were with his girlfriend’s brother; before that it was her uncle, and before that her cousin. All total strangers to the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, my daughter told a police officer to call me because I could get them fired unless they let her off for speeding, spitting at and kicking officers, and damaging police property. I work in a supermarket and have no idea what she was talking about. I can’t fire anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 166

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 481

You deserved it 5 022

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 3 626

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 1 570

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 3 696

Today, and every other day this week, I brought carrots and celery into work to eat as a snack instead of chocolate. I got back from lunch to find a note on my desk saying, "Do you really think it's OK to eat carrots and celery that loudly every day?" Guess I won't try to be healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 473

You deserved it 834