Embarrassing, Underwear and Health: Such a rush

Such a rush

By Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 352

You deserved it 47 615

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 623

You deserved it 12 947

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 5 045

Double sus

By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 308

You deserved it 3 164

BIKES?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 6 307

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 4 226

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 720

You deserved it 3 948

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

Nordah 15

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:23

You lost me at "spray tan".

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:26

If I had a nickel for every time I left my underwear in my hair...

Comments

capnbzarr 43

Thursday 3 January 2013 3:05

Stay classy, Orangina.

Thatscori 0

Thursday 3 January 2013 3:10

Well that's not really an FML. But cool?

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 3 January 2013 3:45

You didn't notice your underwear was missing when you went to put your clothes back on? You should be grateful it wasn't a pair of hi-cut briefs.

Zingers 9

Thursday 3 January 2013 3:50

people, spray tan /=/ orange. sometimes, yes. always? nope. stop being incredibly judgemental, you're just making yourselves look dumb. but OP: you had a thong handy but not a hair tie?? YDI

BronayPonay 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 3:53

Why the **** do you guys care if she got a spray tan or not? Some people look great with a spray tan. People are just so ******* judgemental.

alfakennybody 10

Thursday 3 January 2013 3:58

That fml made my day.

shan88 14

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:39

Why?

squid93 9

Thursday 3 January 2013 4:29

So now we know you were going commando! I would have loved to have seen that!

ShananaginsLOL 13

Thursday 3 January 2013 5:12

Soo u carry around thongs but not hair ties.... Weirdo.....

tararochelle 18

Thursday 3 January 2013 5:22

It's hard to handle being pale in these winter months. And a spray tan is better than tanning... Getting chunks of skin dug out because they are full of cancer? Less attractive. If u go once ur not an Oompa Loompa, it smells like crap though. I'm a massage therapist, I know from massaging women who have had it not personal experience. But us girls?? We have a lot of pressure to be pretty.. And tan is usually in that package. Don't hate.