Embarrassing, Underwear and Health: Such a rush

Such a rush

By Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 352

You deserved it 47 615

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Same thing different taste

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 623

You deserved it 12 947

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 5 045

Double sus

By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 308

You deserved it 3 164

BIKES?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 6 307

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 4 226

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 720

You deserved it 3 948

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

Nordah 15

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:23

You lost me at "spray tan".

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:26

If I had a nickel for every time I left my underwear in my hair...

Comments

TaysDarkLust 11

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:23

Being white is sexier than being a oompa loompa with a thong stuck in your hair.

mackischillin 5

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:27

It's the new thing, didn't you hear about it on MTV?

CrazyManNo9 29

Thursday 3 January 2013 7:56

Okay, I am confused. If I was getting dressed, no matter how hurried I would be, I would notice that my underwear was missing and realize I was wearing it on my head. I guess that would be true unless I regularly went commando, but even still I think it would give me pause to think...

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Thursday 3 January 2013 10:52

I think that she was using a clean thong, not the one she was wearing (eeew, what were you thinking?) Anyway people, spray tan doesn’t make you looked tanned, it makes you look orange. ORANGE!

KirstenZ 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 11:18

Wonder why OP doesn't look at the mirror at least once before leaving home.

Ozxkar 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 11:38

You have to be the most popular mom at your daughter's school.

LikeASire 2

Thursday 3 January 2013 12:05

So much class crammed into one post.

hikkiji 4

Thursday 3 January 2013 12:30

ahahhahaha XD for.the first time boys must be looking at your hair than your boobs xP

doodlecloud 26

Thursday 3 January 2013 12:57

I just don't understand why you didn't ask for one from the front desk...it's a spray tan salon, they must get this all the time - I wouldn't be suprised if they had a whole bucket of fresh hair ties for exactly this situation.