Love, Weddings, Phobias and Honeymoon: Surprise! - FML

Surprise!

By SwimmingInFear - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Havertown

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is: it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales, and sharks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 521

You deserved it 7 883

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 197

Nuts

By hunta331 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I learned just how bad jellyfish stings hurt. Multiple times. On my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 305

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 622

You deserved it 12 947

You were warned

By kko - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 4 897

Roaming gangs

By 23yearoldtoddler - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 6 781

Secret

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 051

You deserved it 2 887

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 221

You deserved it 5 883

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 855

You deserved it 3 408

By oh why... - 20/12/2013 14:51 - United States

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 451

You deserved it 4 490

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 828

You deserved it 42 516

Next

Top comments

monkeybanana 7

Tuesday 29 May 2012 9:09

Wouldn't your spouse know that about you?

OAAS 0

Tuesday 29 May 2012 9:10

Don't worry, OP, you'll have a whale of a time

Comments

Shadowvoid 33

Saturday 13 October 2012 3:26

Im sure it wasn't on porpoise, whale, try to have a good time.

01sparkly 15

Monday 26 November 2012 2:47

Why dolphins? They are so cute!

adam_tajyar 10

Thursday 27 December 2012 13:03

That sucks, but on the bright side dolphins are really friendly

magnetic_aura 26

Thursday 18 September 2014 7:09

Maybe your future husband is trying to help you get over your fear by giving you an extremely positive experience. 1- by experiencing it with him and 2- by associating them with the happiest time of your life!

mitchel_112 17

Friday 31 October 2014 1:29

Maybe going swimming with dolphins is a way of facing your fears, in a "fun way"

T1A2Z3 34

Tuesday 20 March 2018 19:31

Who booked your "suprise honeymoon"? If it was your spouse or a family member of yours how don't they know? If it was a gift from his family or something that sucks but super sweet of them. If it's like an online thing then that's a pretty dumb idea.

Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21

Saturday 25 August 2018 22:55

Great time to face your fear

Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21

Saturday 25 August 2018 22:56

“Dolphins”

MistressAfrodite 5

Saturday 20 January 2024 17:34

I smell divorce

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Parenting Jealousy AITA Social Media Love Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Relatable Housework Embarrassing Work Awkward Transportation Cars Health Sports Accident Mental health Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 380

You deserved it 13 608

The Top

Today, it's been 3 months since I've been talking to a guy. He told me that he doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship. He likes me and would still like to have sex, but not ready right now for something serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 302

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 309

Today, my 15 year-old daughter got kicked out of her cheerleading squad because she was overweight. I heard one of the cheerleaders say, "She must be overweight because her mom is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 398

You deserved it 13 862

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 863

Today, as I turned to face the cashier at the supermarket, I managed to knock over an entire display of gift cards with my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 217

You deserved it 4 151

Today, I started to give a 30-minute presentation about environmental sustainability. When I'd finished what I though was a powerful introduction, I was informed that I was in the wrong conference room, speaking to a group of what appeared to basically be a bunch oil barons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 280