Intimacy: Talk to me baby - FML

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 508

You deserved it 4 698

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Same thing different taste

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 5 248

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 817

You deserved it 6 265

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 204

You deserved it 4 508

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 274

You deserved it 722

Zigazig Ah

By Anonymous - 17/12/2017 01:30

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my fiancé while he was masturbating to the Spice Girls movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 381

You deserved it 810

Just… why?

By Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 662

You deserved it 54 163

Get it on

By Anonymous - 21/04/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Spicy

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 595

You deserved it 1 773

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 408

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 570

You deserved it 10 957

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:21 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 6 164

Next

Top comments

namyo 13

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:51

Siri who is a naughty girl? "I am sir"

xnikkilynn 11

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:52

"I can't find that location."

Comments

garrett_8614 14

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:58

Next you'll find him cheating on Siri with Cortana.

scottyrocks123 21

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:53

Then Samsungs Voice controller

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:53

Halo reference = win!

Llama_Face89 33

Sunday 19 October 2014 22:22

Since both 31 and 32 are apparently unaware...Cortana is Samsung's version of Siri.

sythe511 28

Sunday 19 October 2014 22:33

Since #41 is unaware, I'd like to point out that Cortana is the name given to Microsoft's virtual assistant. Samsung has absolutely nothing to do with it.

kittykat1501 31

Monday 6 July 2015 7:25

I've seen a pic where Siri got mad because someone accidentally called her Cortana

katejanek 16

Sunday 19 October 2014 16:14

bringing phone sex to a whole new level!

BadApple88 29

Sunday 19 October 2014 16:15

Well at least it's Siri and not a real woman lol

IKickPuppiesHard 16

Sunday 19 October 2014 20:17

Siri isn't real? Shit...

keiNan_fml 35

Sunday 19 October 2014 16:33

he has really taken use of an iPhone to a new level

amrose1318 10

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:10

This just reminded me of claptrap from borderlands..lol.. fyl though op.

gracehi 31

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:16

Is your boyfriend Raj Koothrappali?

strike2867 13

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:24

"Did you mean spaghetti?"

GeneralDerp 5

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:10

Siri's voice is cold and lectury. How could anyone fap to that?

2i1337i2iscore 13

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:54

I always had a suspicion that Siri was a ****!

Googolman 29

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:17

Raj, is that you?

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Sleep Television Love Weddings Money Transportation Annoying Snow Relatable Kids Family Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Food Toxic Argument Gamers Animals Cats Gross Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Drugs Babysitter Music

The Top

Today, during an argument with my daughter, she screamed, "Everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration, where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 357

You deserved it 6 850

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 129

Today, out of boredom, I decided to clean shave my beard and moustache for the first time in 3 years. My new nickname at work is The Crimson Chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 269

You deserved it 597

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 940

You deserved it 2 967

Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 049

You deserved it 1 097

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying, "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as smitten with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 311

You deserved it 45 357

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 305

You deserved it 5 788