Intimacy: Tasty! - FML

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 5 731

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Same thing different taste

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 097

You deserved it 5 793

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 143

You deserved it 8 543

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 636

You deserved it 15 439

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 02:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 185

You deserved it 2 826

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 517

You deserved it 10 605

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Spicy

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 643

You deserved it 6 606

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 400

You deserved it 7 886

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 6 224

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 850

You deserved it 6 003

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 666

Next

Top comments

Lillinette 2

Monday 31 January 2011 19:04

well, apple sauce IS pretty good.

JERZBornNRaised 7

Monday 31 January 2011 19:11

here's an idea go into the bedroom put on the sexiest lingerie you have and have apple sauce all over your body... itd be the best surprise of his life.. thatll get him in the mood

Comments

EG14_fml 8

Wednesday 18 May 2011 15:30

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! this makes me laugh a whole lot! I'm tryin to imagine my boyfriend like that.... wouldve been pretty awkward at lunch in school. ha! funny!

Duke726 0

Friday 29 July 2011 11:50

how is that a bad thing?

stabbed1ntheback 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 11:29

Give him a hand job with applesauce

Rwcrazy 0

Monday 8 August 2011 1:43

Who is he bobby brady

NeonBubblez 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 1:15

That's really cute.....

pizzaisyummy 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 22:03

Well...if u wanna get some go to the store and stock up on some apple sauce!! :D

saxplayer9291 3

Thursday 15 December 2011 7:46

my girlfriend told me her fetish was ***********. stop complaining. id he happy for applesauce

RockVolley09 8

Sunday 5 February 2012 20:48

Applesauce, The new nipple balm flavor. I can see it being a big seller.

kotabones 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 6:32

Not a fml. A fml would be him getting horny over applesauce his grandma makes and that's the only thing that gets him going and today was her funeral.

alera_fml 12

Tuesday 17 April 2012 19:54

Why would that suck? Applesauce is cheap and easy to get. Could be worse, he could want something really gross.

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I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, I've been sexting a mysterious guy from New Jersey. I was getting hot, so I decided to say, "I want you to be my first." Suddenly, my officemate who was two desks away from me waved her phone in hand and shouted, "You're a virgin?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 685

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 433

You deserved it 6 688

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I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 148

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 286

You deserved it 3 227

Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 147

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 925

You deserved it 1 668