Love: The L word

The L word

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 15:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 126

You deserved it 7 128

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Same thing different taste

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 952

You deserved it 2 884

By username - 19/05/2015 06:45 - United Kingdom - Leatherhead

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 789

You deserved it 5 924

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 17 861

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 11:04 - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 3 036

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 384

You deserved it 3 436

Dirty talk

By awkward - 22/02/2014 05:39 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 625

You deserved it 10 475

Bondage prank [GONE SEXUAL]

By ldn - 21/03/2013 17:54 - Slovenia - Domzale

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 737

You deserved it 12 989

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 130

You deserved it 6 179

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 287

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 602

You deserved it 3 842

Redoxx_fml 22

Monday 26 May 2014 22:21

I hope the safe word was "loveyoutoo"

bromeister 6

Monday 26 May 2014 22:17

You simply made her think of what she loves most..

Comments

perrialyce 2

Sunday 1 June 2014 12:21

What's S&M

superwholock99 1

Friday 6 June 2014 4:55

Mines "wookie"

SkylarKanda 1

Friday 13 June 2014 20:10

oh no! my fiancee has done that to me before while at his work after I said I love you in front of his coworkers...I feel for ya I really do

SkylarKanda 1

Friday 13 June 2014 20:12

mines strawberries although it might change. I love strawberries....

DarksideDoll 31

Thursday 25 September 2014 5:29

#131 - I find that oddly sweet.

moot_chan 18

Sunday 7 December 2014 23:51

My favorite FML to date

MrNiceGuy569 18

Thursday 30 July 2015 13:57

S&M?

Shamandalie89 32

Tuesday 15 September 2015 12:10

Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health

The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 3 816

The Top

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 953

You deserved it 5 373

Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 7 842

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 484

You deserved it 3 458

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 036

You deserved it 2 578

Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 515

You deserved it 2 812

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 2 457