Periods, Cute and Kids: The Patriarch - FML

The Patriarch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Mentor

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 542

You deserved it 4 350

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Top comments

silverstream20 20

Sunday 15 February 2015 15:58

To be fair, that is not entirely wrong, considering a tampon works like a sponge anyway. I say A for effort.

fwongraven 10

Sunday 15 February 2015 15:59

Nice parenting... you'd think he would have done a quick Google at some point before she hit puberty.

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 10 April 2023 2:49

I find it hard to believe a father wouldn't know a little more than that in case this very situation arose. Your daughter was undoubtedly embarrassed enough without that sound advice. Like others have said, a Google search would have certainly been easier/better. And OMG yes, I hope it was a clean sponge... or she'll also be getting her first yeast infection.

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 9 485

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me unless we get married within a year and have a baby. I don’t negotiate with terrorists but now I’m gonna be single and alone over Christmas, unless I wheedle myself into my brother's Christmas, but I think I’d just ruin it for his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 175

The Top

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 633

You deserved it 3 874

Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 282

Today, my dog has figured out how to open screen doors on his own, by body checking them at full force, of course, like one does. This would be all fine and good, but we live by a lake with a considerable mosquito infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 176

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 1 292

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 621

You deserved it 12 212

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 482

You deserved it 9 500