Mental health, Medication and Miscellaneous: They're after us!

They're after us!

By Stevie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 278

You deserved it 3 944

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Top comments

saIty 17

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:55

Did you also know that your toys come alive when you're not inside the house?

the_easter_bunny 1

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:00

You think she's crazy now... But just wait. You'll see.

Comments

lebronsucks 3

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:24

Gnome and Juliet gone bad!

heresjuju 2

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:24

Can I tell you how much I love your mom? She wins.

mehwhocares 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:28

So you finally figured out what they're really for... Good luck. They're going to have to kill you now, in order to keep their secret.

KnucklesDeep 5

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:29

I hope your mother likes the rubber room that awaits her when she has her inevitable breakdown.

sethman27 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:36

Phase 1 collect underpants Phase 2 ?????? Phase 3 profit

tateh22 1

Thursday 18 August 2011 6:35

South park is the best!! Haha

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:58

They are.

d3adly 5

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:16

I collect them.

Nevitt 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:17

Those Fucken gnomes man... their everywhere!

itsmeyippie 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 21:59

I have tone a grammar Nazi, They're.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:40

**** the Gnomes! The real bastards are the Trolls & Goblins!!

daydreamer244 13

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:55

why does she gotta hate on the lawn gnomes?

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Dogs Friends Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 646

You deserved it 1 159

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 215

You deserved it 14 071

The Top

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 611

You deserved it 31 201

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 037

You deserved it 5 520

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 2 652

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 3 107

Today, the janitor and I both had to tell a tenant that his upstairs neighbor cannot push gas into his air vent to constipate him, as that's not how gas, the human body, or our ventilation system, work. We told him repeatedly that he needed to see a doctor. About his constipation. He still wasn't sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 92

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 816

You deserved it 255