Love, Sex and Dating: This charming man

This charming man

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 22:00

Today, my date from last night sent a text obviously meant for his brother or a friend, which said, and I quote, “Bro I tried all those psychological tricks you taught me to get her to want to suck my dick but she didn’t offer even once, now I got blue balls and I had to pay for her meal too.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 342

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Same thing different taste

My brother the Gigachad

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 06:01

Today, I thought my date last night went quite well, especially when she called me first thing this morning… until it turned out she wasn’t very impressed, and wanted my brother's number instead. The single, successful lawyer, who is 6 inches taller than me, who she saw on my Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 132

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 539

You deserved it 4 562

Pushy

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 22:02

Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 888

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 433

You deserved it 4 702

Tonight on First Dates

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 114

By beta - 08/01/2019 12:00

Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 066

You deserved it 857

Nice try

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 22:00

Today, I was texted out of the blue by a girl I treated to dinner last year. Since then, we'd chatted and met in passing a few times, but she'd turned down or cancelled all my other date invitations. Sadly, she wasn't trying to meet up. She wanted $500 to benefit a male friend, who was down on his luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 121

Misunderstood

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 17:00

Today, my Tinder date seemed annoyed that my offer of dinner at my house really was an offer of dinner, not easy sex. Apparently, acting like a real woman with a mind and feelings, as opposed to a hole for his penis to temporarily inhabit, completely ruined his night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 464

Fake news

By pig! - 20/10/2023 14:00

Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 186

The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 187

You deserved it 30 213

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 May 2022 23:00

It was meant to be sent to you. That's another psychological trick. Next time you see him, he'll apologize for the mix-up, but you'll feel like you owe him a *******. It works every time.

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 15 May 2022 23:14

Looks like you dodged a bullet. Better luck next time!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 May 2022 23:00

It was meant to be sent to you. That's another psychological trick. Next time you see him, he'll apologize for the mix-up, but you'll feel like you owe him a *******. It works every time.

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 15 May 2022 23:14

Looks like you dodged a bullet. Better luck next time!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 May 2022 23:34

You're right. She dodged a bullet this time. But next time, she'd better play with the bullet or she's going to get kicked off the gravy train!

poopface82 19

Monday 16 May 2022 0:07

He expected services of that manner from you but I bet he wasn’t willing to pony up on his end. What a tool.

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Monday 16 May 2022 2:39

Plot twist: OP did like him but every once in a while he'd say something really weird as if he was trying a psychological trick to get a ******* and she got weirded out.