Intimacy: Time consumed

Time consumed

By unendowed - 18/03/2012 02:11 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 413

You deserved it 11 700

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By tLee - 19/07/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 510

You deserved it 4 560

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 349

You deserved it 40 476

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 249

You deserved it 34 501

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 5 234

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 416

You deserved it 761

By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 859

You deserved it 54 891

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 864

You deserved it 4 863

Tasty

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 046

You deserved it 683

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 769

You deserved it 19 620

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:20

Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.

H_Brazell09 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:22

Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.

Comments

dyn112248 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 11:24

SHAVE

xgetxbentx 13

Sunday 18 March 2012 12:08

Now you know why personal grooming is important. Even without a gag reflex, your pubes should NOT have been long enough to get in her mouth. Seriously, at least trim it really short...

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

Sunday 18 March 2012 13:44

he could be *that* small....:/

lovelylaurie021 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 12:19

That's why people shave.

Crazberry 5

Sunday 18 March 2012 12:21

Maybe she thought it would stop her breath from smelling like penis...? Or she's just ditzy. Think of it this way though, maybe she was so eager to go down on you she forgot about the gum. (and completely ignored the fact that you didn't shave...)

oldirtybasterdSE 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 13:27

Well I know it says when you have a dirty mouth you should clean it up with orbits. Not sure about that though

damnu 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 13:28

You deserved it for having pubic hair

xStaciexLynnx 15

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:10

Everyone HAS pubic hair. It's his fault for not taking care of it.

damnu 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 18:04

Come on, you know what I meant

winterlies 8

Sunday 18 March 2012 13:29

That really must suck. Also... people, come on, I'm tired of this 'SHAVE YOUR PUBES' trend going on. I find it bloody unattractive for people to look prepubescent, thanks, and so do probably the people who keep their hair.

l0v3p4in 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:17

"Oh, look! Sasquatch is on the loose in all his natural, overgrown hairy glory!" It's not about shaving them completely off per se, but keeping the landscape neat. Nobody likes to have to bring a sickle with them to a suck on a diddlestick.

Milf6969 1

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:50

Don't have to shave it all off. Just short enough so no one has to floss with pubic hair while going down.

Eskimo_Lover 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 13:44

This just made my whole life xP

skater009 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 14:49

Dirty mouth? ;) stick it on pubes and chew a new piece xD

perdix 29

Sunday 18 March 2012 14:52

Am I the only one scared shitless by the idea of her chewing during a ********? I'm getting this Bride of Chucky image and I feel like I want to wear a cup all day. Anyone?