Intimacy: TMI Mom

TMI Mom

By Grossed out - 14/02/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 434

You deserved it 7 290

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 079

You deserved it 3 888

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 5 828

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 342

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 064

You deserved it 3 749

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 592

You deserved it 5 249

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 132

You deserved it 4 188

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 122

You deserved it 30 922

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 708

You deserved it 4 741

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

Peavey_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 2:29

Hey, you talk about birth control or anything sex related around the parents, expect the hear some things you didn't want to know from time to time!

TryToBeKind 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 2:54

Actually, that was pretty nice of her to give you a head's up (pun not intended until now).

Comments

WFMS 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 0:27

That's not creepy :|

paleknight47 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 20:39

#4 that's a good pun...

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 15:48

Never talk about sex related things in front of your parents idiot

wheatie 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 7:05

I'm so confused.. what does he mean?

hopeehunt 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 19:40

that's what I thought of! haha love that show.

J04NN4 3

Thursday 22 April 2010 19:13

I totally agree, Jesus, what an arrogant little bitch. So you can sit there yabbering away about your birth control but when your mum joins in it's 'gross'. How absolutely pathetic. Grow up!

Hatz223 0

Saturday 24 April 2010 2:02

You so deserve that. Don't talk about something like that in front of your mom if u don't want her making comments like that, and if ur gonna talk about that stuff infront of her expec those comments. So grow up and stop bitchin..... Meanwhile I'm gonna read ur FML again and laugh my ******* ass off again.

mattgreen14 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 23:41

YDI for talking about it in the first place idiot

thatguy888 0

Sunday 4 July 2010 8:42

that is the original guy

Isamermaid 17

Monday 12 July 2010 15:11

Sure, "you were born as a result of sex." Doesn't mean you need or want to hear the details. To me, it's not ok for parents to be straight-up graphic with their kids, and it's definitely not ok for them to allow their kids to hear them or see them have sex. But... since you started the conversation, you deserve it.