Sex, Parents and Intimacy: TMI - FML

TMI

By wow - 28/05/2014 23:08 - United States - Cape Coral

Spicy

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 024

You deserved it 5 442

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Same thing different taste

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 453

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 345

You deserved it 3 826

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 120

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 143

By Alisha - 07/08/2012 18:04 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 175

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 564

You deserved it 6 441

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 2 536

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 286

You deserved it 2 451

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 411

You deserved it 2 343

Next

Top comments

dzhonatan 14

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:54

I guess you could turn it into a positive thing and keep the tradition going... Okay, maybe there is no positive way to look at this.

hexo21 13

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:52

Wow. Talk about tmi

Comments

kasmol 16

Thursday 29 May 2014 22:56

So...did mom just happen to get her freak on in the restroom because prince charming was irresistible, or did she routinely bang random dudes in the crapper until she got knocked up? This is important info.

namanbtl 11

Thursday 29 May 2014 23:02

Must be pretty old store :D

annunaki_fml 11

Thursday 29 May 2014 23:44

akoonamatada

BaconMeCrazy10 8

Friday 30 May 2014 3:47

I believe the words you are looking for are hakuna matata..

cpmagma 15

Friday 30 May 2014 0:17

going back up your roots, huh?

TipTopCaduceus 11

Friday 30 May 2014 2:15

If it helps she was probably wrong. xD Its really hard to trace the exact date of conception, unless that was literally the only time she had sex in the entire month before you were "made".

bryan788 29

Friday 30 May 2014 2:28

OP, please oh please tell us is Walmart?

JarOfPeachz 9

Friday 30 May 2014 2:41

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree it seems. :3

v8nick97 11

Friday 30 May 2014 3:50

She may have just said that to screw with your head.

xoxkclxox 12

Friday 30 May 2014 4:43

I would cut my mum off if she was going to tell me that..

SparkyRoxYurSox 16

Friday 30 May 2014 4:46

Don't feel bad. I was made in the shower. Bad part is, I used that shower everyday for years, until my mom finally told me about it. Talk about awkward...

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 15 053

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the father of my kids, had been practically begging women to sleep with him throughout the duration of both pregnancies, and has also spent hundreds of dollars on OnlyFans every month. He promised to permanently delete OnlyFans three times and still hasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 583

The Top

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 138

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 682

You deserved it 5 293

Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 949

Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 588

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 168

You deserved it 2 427

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 330