Sex, Parents and Intimacy: TMI - FML

TMI

By wow - 28/05/2014 23:08 - United States - Cape Coral

Spicy

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 024

You deserved it 5 442

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Same thing different taste

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 453

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 345

You deserved it 3 826

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 120

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 143

By Alisha - 07/08/2012 18:04 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 175

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 564

You deserved it 6 441

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 2 536

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 286

You deserved it 2 451

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 411

You deserved it 2 343

Next

Top comments

dzhonatan 14

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:54

I guess you could turn it into a positive thing and keep the tradition going... Okay, maybe there is no positive way to look at this.

hexo21 13

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:52

Wow. Talk about tmi

Comments

ThatOneTimeLord 25

Monday 23 June 2014 6:27

"I'm going to the stall I was conceived in for my lunch break boss!"

SkunkPoker 8

Saturday 27 December 2014 22:03

What sucks even more is that the job market isn't exactly at its best right now. *Hint hint*

DrChimpNipples 6

Friday 23 January 2015 20:57

Man... One time my dad looked me right in the eyes and told me "son, when your mother and I were making you, the best part of you dribbled down my thigh"... Shit happens, I guess

Drosophila82 18

Tuesday 7 April 2015 6:00

That too much 'knowing your roots'

Winchester1990 19

Monday 6 June 2016 15:56

Classy, why on earth would she think you would want to know.

SiraSiemens 21

Tuesday 5 July 2016 22:17

so you haven't gotten very far have you? i already travelled halfway around the world before i was born xD

Keywords

Transportation Poopoo peepee Cars Awkward Dentist Health Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Food Ironic Technology

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 531

You deserved it 10 056

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 3 931

The Top

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 136

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 046

You deserved it 30 316

Today, I was in the car with my mom taking the dog to the vet, when he peed on me. We were taking him there because he hadn't peed in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 101

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 7 988

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 442

You deserved it 29 098

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 901

You deserved it 24 409