To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Spicy
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 238
You deserved it 6 047
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

isabelf 17

your boyfriend sounds like he has some very odd fetishes...

277 7

Comments

dggetswaggoob 15

I can't stop laughing. This is hilarious but unless you're a nerd you should find someone else

34 5
more4me 27

A nerd ? I am a nerd. I think her BF is a dork!

26 5
6demon6spawn6 12

oh god I love it. I myself plan on learning klingon.

13 6
RickSanchez 4

Who talks dirty in Klingon the first time they have sex with someone?

60 2
blazerman_fml 17

Trust me, unfortunately it's more common than you think.

10 2
PerditaDessa 38

It's common enough that they sell Klingon sex manuals. With themes like 'first time with a Vulcan during Pon far? Here's what to expect.' Star Trek is an extremely common fandom and a lot of the fans speak at least part of one of the languages. It's a bit much to expect it the first time without prior conversations about it, but it's probably more common than it should be.

12 0
isuckwithnames 22

But learning Klingon sextalk is rare enough to be never expected, for most people, a good most.

0 0
IamMurph 1

New boyfriend? First time intimate? Sounds like you have your work cut out for you if he gets mad at petty things such as this.

40 0
martin8337 35

Attention all star trek nerds: there is no such thing as a Klingon language, it is fictional. Try to learn a real language like Spanish, French or German.

14 40
ShadowlessSpear 21

Was looking for an asshat to post this comment. Not disappointed.

21 3
BBeffedmylife 28

I prefer the term "Trekkie" thank you very much...

11 3
martin8337 35

#16, I do not belong to PETA. Q is just a letter in the alphabet.

4 11
PerditaDessa 38

My job centers around constructed languages. A lot of people speak languages that come from science fiction or fantasy. I know six 'real world' languages but have more fun with the others. All knowledge is valuable; even if, some people find it to be a waste of time.

10 0
chinaski7628 32

Technically, all languages are 'made up'. Language is a series of sounds or symbols to which we attach meaning. Words, letters, and sounds only have the meanings we give them-- they do not have any inherent meaning. To say that one language is 'real' and another is not is incredibly myopic. Language is often a symbol of unity and pride-- a way to identify as a part of a culture or subculture. Look at Yiddish speakers, Catalan speakers in Spain, Cymraeg speakers in Wales, or the speakers of many Native American languages that are dying out. Just because a language is spoken by a small number of people doesn't invalidate it.

10 0
Queen_of_Night 20

You can learn it at The University of Texas in Austin. For college credit.

8 0
isuckwithnames 22

How is it not a real language? It has its own grammar, sentence structure entomology; and, as someone else mentioned, is taught in many places including colleges.

7 0
vikky538 28

you need to find the book learn Klingon in 30 days...

4 2
jackalsssss 6

I'm surprised he managed to even talk to a girl!

20 3
BrotherTheo 31

True Story: when I first met my girlfriend she realized two things: I was kinkier then she was and I was way into Star Trek. After awhile she admitted that when we where first dating she had concerns that I was going to want to try to have some kind of 'strange Klingon sex....' Yep we're still together :)

19 1
CrikOgresmasher 19

This is why nerdy guys should stick with nerdy girls

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