Animals: Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole....

By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 21:03 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 202

You deserved it 18 358

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Same thing different taste

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 865

You deserved it 2 666

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

By EyupItsLucas - 24/03/2020 13:35

Today, there’s been birds nesting in my wall since mid winter. They’ve recently started scratching at the wall as if they wanted to get through. This morning, they made their entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 284

Howdy!

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 12:00

Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 131

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 344

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 506

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 373

You deserved it 6 357

By Anonymous - 28/02/2010 11:16 - Canada

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him… but I can hear him in the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 147

You deserved it 2 613

By Alaska - 29/10/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 520

By TehUglyLife - 29/07/2013 19:11 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 908

You deserved it 14 200

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 197

grogers311 20

Tuesday 6 May 2014 1:17

Well, you tried to do the right thing...

LickitungJr 8

Tuesday 6 May 2014 1:18

It probably would've died soon if it was stuck in your walls anyway.

Comments

conman531 23

Tuesday 6 May 2014 6:43

Well your screwed up

Venasaur1 9

Tuesday 6 May 2014 6:54

I would have freaked out. Killed a bird and my wall in one day.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 6 May 2014 7:02

That's one way to illuminate the problem...now just fill the hole...

Pat_Tricksta 13

Tuesday 6 May 2014 7:14

You didn't mean to OP. Not your fault for trying to be a Good Samaritan

nirmalsundhar 11

Tuesday 6 May 2014 7:14

You should have called on some rescue experts... it's a bad idea though...

ChakatBlackstar 29

Tuesday 6 May 2014 7:18

C'mon birdie, you know the drill. Let's get through this. I don't want you to make a pigeonhole.

Reaaal04 7

Tuesday 6 May 2014 7:46

My parakeet jst died a few days ago :(

Jerakl 21

Tuesday 6 May 2014 7:54

Is laughing at this is considered politically incorrect? @OP That sucks, I guess it's better then starving!

glenn_erik 5

Tuesday 6 May 2014 8:16

poor bird :(

Juana122913 5

Tuesday 6 May 2014 8:51

Poor Birdie lol.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 3 931

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 941

You deserved it 3 846

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 515

You deserved it 10 354

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 709

You deserved it 3 993

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 649

You deserved it 463

Today, I received a housewarming gift from an easily offended friend of mine. I recently explained to her how terrible I am at keeping plants alive. What did she get me? An orchid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 405

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 102

You deserved it 476 127

Same thing different taste

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Howdy!

I am very hungry

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