Miscellaneous: Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that,...

By Notasinner - 24/05/2012 22:39 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 855

You deserved it 2 195

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Same thing different taste

By wallet? GONE - 21/04/2013 22:27 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 3 822

By mel_bear_ - 14/03/2012 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 328

You deserved it 2 596

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 3 448

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 3 517

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 123

By sbutler - 14/07/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 447

You deserved it 51 280

By NotBeingPaidEnough - 03/03/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 457

You deserved it 1 323

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 12:24 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 132

You deserved it 35 292

By Dude - 19/08/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 660

You deserved it 5 036

By never thought I'd say that - 22/08/2013 19:05 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 728

You deserved it 2 848

ICastillo 24

Friday 25 May 2012 9:09

"The power of Christ compels you bitch"

Meowingtons500 18

Friday 25 May 2012 9:13

Look mommy! That man is giving free showers. Oh sweet Jesus! Honey, walk faster.

Comments

BobbieH 19

Friday 25 May 2012 16:03

Well, did you repent you evil shite?! FYL, drunk is just an excuse to mask the crazy!

kthsdm 12

Friday 25 May 2012 16:30

You should have looked him dead in the eye and said in a low, deep monotone "Thou art dare preach to me Mortal? I'm Lucifer, your soul was sold the moment the poison nectar touched your lips. Kneel cur before me or you shall perish for eternity for your insolence! ' and you will be having him protracted and kissing the ground you step on.

nicolasvasquez_ 6

Friday 25 May 2012 16:34

To make holy water, you boil the hell out of it :)

darkenedone 27

Friday 25 May 2012 17:00

Well then maybe you should repent! You evil shite...

GUNN1313 3

Friday 25 May 2012 17:19

Evil Pagan shite and proud

HerrBawl 4

Friday 25 May 2012 17:35

And did you repent?

kalbrek009 20

Friday 25 May 2012 18:06

Lucky for you it wasn't "holy urine" or holy shite..still you should have told him to repent for being a "false prophet" & spit in his face with your "holy saliva".

br0ccoli 14

Friday 25 May 2012 18:28

Why can't we just love each other? It's what Jesus would have wanted.

br0ccoli 14

Friday 25 May 2012 18:44

3- raptor Jesus must be who they're following because I don't recall Jesus ever forcing people against their free agency to believe in something they don't. And for that matter, Jesus was the perfect human and yet he never finger pointed at how big of a sinner other people are. I guess some sinners have a superiority complex and think they can bully and stalk their way towards salvation. OP, you should pray for that man. It has been, and always will be about LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.