By Anonymous - 24/03/2013 21:33 - United States - Lutz

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 178
You deserved it 25 874
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Top comments

TorisaurusRexxx 10

Well then offer her comfort. Who knows? You may make her happy and things could build to a relationship. Just let her heal.

446 7
JamieLT 22

Now your next step should be just to comfort her. She needs it whether it looks like she does or not.

199 4

Comments

mattlw 25

I agree with every body so far. I see why you feel like that, but don't blame yourself. You didn't know!

20 4
bluehero 17

Aw! It's not your fault, you didn't know! Just apologize and explain it was a misunderstanding. Her life is worse than yours though right now.

10 1
buddy51 23

OP you jumped the shark on this one but if you have some compassion and kindness toward her in her grief you will at least move from total assholishness to some redemption. That will be good for her, for you, and for men everywhere. Do your duty and support her without making any moves at all. Be a mensch not a moron!!!

26 9
TwoOneFive 11

Give her sometime. It takes a while to get over a death like that.

7 1
cieloalicia 16

You didn't know. Just be a friend, help her to heal.

10 0
KingCeltic77 18

I'm sorry, but it seems that you see her often at your job and it seems, at least to me, you are so self-absorbed if you don't know something that majorly awful happened to someone you see that often. I don't mean to be offensive, but take this a sign that you should pay attention to what goes on or take interest in others.

6 33
ohmandapants 16

Allow me to point out the part of the fml which says "despite her brave face". Obviously this girl wasn't coming into work crying her eyes out every day. She probably didn't want anyone knowing, some people are like that. The attention and pity can sometimes make it worse. So no, OP isn't "self-absorbed". Not everyone lets the world know when they're going through a tough time.

28 0
TheAbstract 15

Couldn't agree more, 24. I tend to respect those people more for some reason. They have troubles in their lives but dont want to concern others with it, so they just bottle it up. This lady is a trooper.

13 1
MEF62 5

I don't get how you could not know. People in offices talk about each other all the time and you must ignorant or no one likes you enough to talk to you.

3 25
ohmandapants 16

Yeah, it MUST be that OP is the office asshole because he didn't know. There's NO WAY that this girl didn't go around announcing that her fiancé had died. Because who wouldn't want everyone being weird around them and asking questions and giving them the pity face every time they were in the room. There's just no way this girl kept her feelings bottled up. God, OP! Stop being such a dick!

19 2
DanielleinDC 33

OP said that the woman in question was putting on a brave face. And maybe if there was scuttlebutt it didn't get to him. Either way, he didn't know that her fiance had died. I trust you backed off once you found out she's not ready to move on, OP.

5 0
megank12 17

25, Actually, when my cat died and I had to go to work, I only told people I was very close to. I didn't want to tell a lot of people about it, because I didn't want anyone to ask me about it or try to talk about it. She probably needed time to heal without discussing it. Some people just don't want to talk about their grief.

5 0
TrilliousDivine 9

I dont think ur an asshole. I hope with time u may be the person who can fill her life with new dreams and new hope. It May take a very long time. I hope u will always be patient in her time of healing. *Hugs*

4 3
BexBaby86 21

You didn't know.. Just be an ear to listen if she needs it. Everyone deals with death in different ways. And, at least you respected her enough to stop, and actually felt bad. Shows you have good character and good morals. :)

7 1
RayearthNinja 10

I see no asshole-ness going on. I'm assuming you apologized? Just be there for her.

3 0