Health: Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my... - FML

By blackchin III - 20/06/2014 21:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 682

You deserved it 4 678

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Defeated

By K.O - 09/09/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 549

Nutshot

By DanJames24 - 10/06/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 76

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 100

You deserved it 46 458

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 159

Lightbulb moment

By Kevin - 17/10/2024 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 145

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 205

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 667

By apparentlyawomanbeater - 20/04/2012 21:48 - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 029

You deserved it 3 108

By liilii - 30/08/2014 16:40 - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 700

You deserved it 6 700

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

Next

Top comments

Maaska 16

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:33

If it was a spider this would've been justified

JBrownie123 24

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:34

Well... At least he didn't miss the fly!

Comments

Maaska 16

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:33

If it was a spider this would've been justified

dimple13194 10

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:13

Exactly

JJ_86 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:19

Did it "fly" by your mind that OP would still be knocked out and probably get allergic to spider insides smashed on the face?

Godsofdracos 15

Saturday 21 June 2014 2:27

Probably get allergic to spider insides being smashed on the face - that... That was so terrible... I laughed so hard.

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:57

Two for one...

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:33

Sounds like a "pain"!

AlaskanG 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:36

You failed.

CockAsian 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

Was there supposed to be a pun involved in that?

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

Yes, and I thought it was pretty "punny"!

spatula232 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:51

Can you explain, I'm still trying to figure it out...

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:57

A pun a day keeps the flies away!

JJ_86 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:09

Keep on trying. You will get it right one day :). For now just get buried.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:49

BassTurdo - You know that saying "If at first you don't succeed, try try again"? Yeah, ignore that and just stop.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:23

More like "If at pun you don't punceed, pun again."

MisterEx 28

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:44

Until you get a pun-ch in the face.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:46

Oh ya? Well pun pun pun, punning punasm.

Wizardo 33

Saturday 21 June 2014 7:58

This BassTurdo guy is literally like a fly. Buzzes around you and gets you annoyed, goes away until you don't notice and ******* comes back again... never seems to find the open window to piss of either.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:10

As I like to say, that's puntastic! So are flies!

Metagame 12

Sunday 22 June 2014 5:59

Why is this amusing me so much?

BassTurdo 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 20:06

Well, maybe you think it's "punny!"

aimzskee 30

Monday 7 July 2014 4:12

Dude, please stop.

JBrownie123 24

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:34

Well... At least he didn't miss the fly!

toaster123 11

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:57

yeah, that's some talent.

sward44 9

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:34

just lookin out for ya haha

J215B 33

Saturday 21 June 2014 2:21

It's the thought that counts!

arrow007archer 19

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:36

At least he never hit you in the face with a bug zapper.

hetalia_thailand 20

Saturday 21 June 2014 3:11

I'd like to hear the adventure behind that.

FrietvanPiet 16

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:36

2 birds with 1 stone!

c_aeki 4

Saturday 21 June 2014 19:04

Hey, where are you from?

Sebastian2022 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

You gotta take for the team sometimes...

PapaSmash 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

Wake up *heyy sis, least it's gone!*

spatula232 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

What a douchebag...

Tylerpls 5

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:41

Atleast the fly is gone

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 630

You deserved it 1 851

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 3 400

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 318

You deserved it 2 284

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 343

You deserved it 1 561

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 213

You deserved it 8 944

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 457