Miscellaneous: Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief."...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 567

You deserved it 51 871

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not a laughing matter

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 09:31 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 231

You deserved it 4 959

By unacceptable - 04/06/2012 15:02 - Australia

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 309

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 260

You deserved it 13 262

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 7 053

Treacherous smileys

By Steven - 29/08/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 298

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 043

You deserved it 4 926

By notpregnant - 21/12/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 888

You deserved it 14 022

Thoughts and prayers

By the hated - 09/07/2013 02:02 - United States - Absecon

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 904

You deserved it 5 467

By SmittyJA24 - 20/05/2014 02:38 - United States - Lewiston

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 842

You deserved it 4 753

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 36 354

balest22 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:33

well that's okay. I mean how would u know that though. Every1 makes mistakes like that.

BADDiam 4

Monday 27 June 2011 0:38

well all u can do is to delete that badass comment..

Comments

Smallory426 0

Monday 27 June 2011 10:31

I can understand the mistake. just say sorry.

adamma15 0

Monday 27 June 2011 11:29

everybody makes mistakes. js tell everyone that u didn't know nn if their still mad tell them to go f**k themselves ;)

Iwantsushi1234 3

Monday 27 June 2011 14:41

**** your life sir.

em1nem13 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:45

your a heartless dick, just kidding, but you gotta feel a little bad for doing that

StuffedNinja 0

Monday 27 June 2011 15:22

it's not OPs fault. they didn't know.

Mrrevorp 0

Monday 27 June 2011 16:09

welllllllll you kinda are

Wazilla 0

Monday 27 June 2011 16:09

Did anyone actually call you heartless or are you just assuming cause when i see post and comments i couldn't really give a rats ass what they said

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 27 June 2011 16:40

time to change your status to "being a heartless dick" and find a new profile picture of a penis missing a heart...

dolphincheddar 10

Monday 27 June 2011 16:57

why thank you 79, and yes that joke in now unoriginal. someone beat you too it :(

seeunexttuesdays 6

Monday 27 June 2011 18:13

pretty stupid thing to write in the first place , but just apologize if it'll make her feel better...

Keywords

Parenting Miscellaneous Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Relatable Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 679

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 248

You deserved it 1 085

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 386

You deserved it 18 662

Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that I deserved to be punished. He didn’t fine me, instead he sent me to the naughty step for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 185

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 994

You deserved it 5 851

Today, I went to the dentist after 24 hours of severe tooth pain. They did an emergency root canal. After the anesthesia wore off, within minutes, the pain returned only worse than before. Called the dentist, I had to return, only to find they had done the root canal on the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 293

You deserved it 3 040

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 729

You deserved it 3 529

Same thing different taste

Not a laughing matter

Treacherous smileys

Thoughts and prayers

Top comments

Comments