Miscellaneous: Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief."...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 567

You deserved it 51 871

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Same thing different taste

Not a laughing matter

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 09:31 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 231

You deserved it 4 959

By unacceptable - 04/06/2012 15:02 - Australia

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 309

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 260

You deserved it 13 262

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 7 053

Treacherous smileys

By Steven - 29/08/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 298

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 043

You deserved it 4 926

By notpregnant - 21/12/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 888

You deserved it 14 022

Thoughts and prayers

By the hated - 09/07/2013 02:02 - United States - Absecon

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 904

You deserved it 5 467

By SmittyJA24 - 20/05/2014 02:38 - United States - Lewiston

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 842

You deserved it 4 753

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 36 354

balest22 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:33

well that's okay. I mean how would u know that though. Every1 makes mistakes like that.

BADDiam 4

Monday 27 June 2011 0:38

well all u can do is to delete that badass comment..

Comments

hateevryone 14

Monday 27 June 2011 6:58

but hey, its not entirely your fault

gun7runner 5

Monday 27 June 2011 7:18

I thought it was funny, but then some people don't have senses of humor

mimikinsz 0

Monday 27 June 2011 7:24

haha that's very funny but then again why would someone post on facebook something like poop or pee it's common sense they didnt mean that

megaaann_fml 9

Monday 27 June 2011 7:38

Honestly, even if her dad wasn't having surgery, that really wasn't funny. I mean, "poop"? What are you, 10?

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Monday 27 June 2011 7:38

That will teach ya for not doing your homework first to see wassup!!! Asshole!!

JKurowski 0

Monday 27 June 2011 7:55

ur comment wouldnt have been funny even if she did poop. just sayin...

josecuervo1 0

Monday 27 June 2011 7:55

epic fail

lolo129 0

Monday 27 June 2011 8:07

That's what she gets for vaguebooking!

RubenTheGreek 8

Monday 27 June 2011 8:38

Stop trying to make crappy jokes.

maddi79 0

Monday 27 June 2011 9:35

been there done that

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Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

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I agree, your life sucks 11

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The Top

Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 854

You deserved it 9 895

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 6 729

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 061

Today, after weeks of debating with myself, I finally got the courage to ask out my best friend of 9 years. She turned me down, saying that dating me would be like adopting a puppy, and she doesn't want that kind of responsibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 047

You deserved it 2 810

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 692

You deserved it 3 407

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 549

You deserved it 4 552

Same thing different taste

Not a laughing matter

Treacherous smileys

Thoughts and prayers

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