Miscellaneous: Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief."...

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 567

You deserved it 51 871

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Not a laughing matter

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 09:31 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 231

You deserved it 4 959

By unacceptable - 04/06/2012 15:02 - Australia

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 309

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 260

You deserved it 13 262

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 7 053

Treacherous smileys

By Steven - 29/08/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 298

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 043

You deserved it 4 926

By notpregnant - 21/12/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 888

You deserved it 14 022

Thoughts and prayers

By the hated - 09/07/2013 02:02 - United States - Absecon

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 904

You deserved it 5 467

By SmittyJA24 - 20/05/2014 02:38 - United States - Lewiston

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 842

You deserved it 4 753

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 36 354

balest22 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:33

well that's okay. I mean how would u know that though. Every1 makes mistakes like that.

BADDiam 4

Monday 27 June 2011 0:38

well all u can do is to delete that badass comment..

Comments

lilwaynerockz_fml 12

Monday 27 June 2011 5:22

chicken in the hole is already over used. wow

eastside1313 5

Monday 27 June 2011 5:30

wait so now guys hearts in their dick?

mog85 0

Monday 27 June 2011 5:32

lol

Maubinlol 0

Monday 27 June 2011 5:45

I thought it was funny : >

tikikat 0

Monday 27 June 2011 5:46

Just delete ur comment...honestly

sexycowgirl 0

Monday 27 June 2011 6:00

Swizzwww

Kikyou_fml 1

Monday 27 June 2011 6:09

haha sucks sorry dude. :( Maybe you shoulda read her other status updates just to make sure right? :)

almostalbino 10

Monday 27 June 2011 6:18

Whoa, if your heart was in your dick blood wouldn't flow everywhere else very well...

almostalbino 10

Monday 27 June 2011 6:23

Everyone that read that comment secretly laughed...

swagindragon 0

Monday 27 June 2011 6:38

you heartless dick

Keywords

Parenting Miscellaneous Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Relatable Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 679

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, I learned that the girl I liked who rejected me last week also has an OnlyFans Account. Yes, I dodged a bullet. However, she let me down with, "I'm celibate and taking a break from men." Then detailed why she would love to stay friends with me. Even girls who sell themselves want nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 437

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 5 879

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 793

You deserved it 2 464

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 418

You deserved it 4 505

Today, my mom lost her shit because I was teaching my daughter about tampons. Apparently, they were created by radical feminists to trick women into “stealing” their own virginities, in order to make them unsuitable brides for decent men. I can’t believe I came out of this repressed psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 142

Today, my parents still won't let me drive in the dark. I'm 30 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 511

Same thing different taste

Not a laughing matter

Treacherous smileys

Thoughts and prayers

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