Miscellaneous: Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community...

By Anonymous - 02/07/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 527

You deserved it 2 785

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Same thing different taste

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 054

You deserved it 4 843

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 133

You deserved it 3 300

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 23:54 - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 1 774

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 514

You deserved it 3 845

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 507

You deserved it 9 733

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 936

You deserved it 6 545

Relax, don't do it

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 177

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 700

You deserved it 290

By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 768

You deserved it 4 274

Chill

By FennFoxx - 21/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Cheraw

Today, I decided to take a relaxing bubble bath in my jacuzzi. I poured in the bubbles, turned on the jets, and got in. I realized too late that the jets had caused the bubbles to overflow and had made a huge mess in my bathroom. Relaxing, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 136

You deserved it 1 901

TheGenius 1

Saturday 2 July 2011 23:26

Hmm, where do you live exactly? I think I know some people that would do this.

SorrowFull 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 23:33

why the pool, when the can use the showers in the pool house? Were they wearing their clothes so they could do their laundry at the same time?

Comments

codestar 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:19

why didn't they just use the showers?

uridea 14

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:54

That's really funny I don't see this as an FML :P now you have an amazing story to tell people

tamoodielovesmar 1

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:38

LMAOOOOOO

Maca421 0

Monday 4 July 2011 1:40

hahaha that is hilarious! and nasty at the same time...

Emers0802 2

Monday 4 July 2011 3:39

that's all kinds of wrong

mcerk1017 2

Monday 4 July 2011 4:36

Let's start a shower, a shower! (to the tune of let's start a riot by three days grace)

justbigbs 6

Monday 4 July 2011 4:42

GROSSS, ........

apegirl907 0

Monday 4 July 2011 7:36

how does that cause a riot?

cheetahcake19 0

Monday 4 July 2011 7:48

Hey at least they were being clean and you didn't have to clean poop out of it or anything.

That0therguy 4

Monday 4 July 2011 8:06

You do whats necessary to get a bath.

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Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 219

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 356

You deserved it 42 739

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 170 203

You deserved it 9 867

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 292

You deserved it 50 965

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 176

You deserved it 4 186

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 18 523

Today, I drove my toddler to a schoolmate’s birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese an hour drive away, only to find out the party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 1 072

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 922

You deserved it 2 872

Same thing different taste

Cute

Relax, don't do it

Chill

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