Miscellaneous: Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking...

By Parusu - 13/02/2014 00:52 - United States - Orlando

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 769

You deserved it 4 389

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Same thing different taste

Get back here!

By ireallylikecats - 22/04/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 2 599

By mother to an ugly doll - 04/09/2013 18:10 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 748

You deserved it 4 089

Classic scam

By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 238

You deserved it 307

Stranger danger

By john doe - 07/12/2013 17:29 - United States - Portland

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 058

You deserved it 6 210

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 846

You deserved it 3 117

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 8 484

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 224

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 968

Help!

By LGFLIPSTER - 31/08/2009 03:32 - Canada

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 727

You deserved it 6 567

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 20:09 - United States

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 14 679

crissalove 22

Thursday 13 February 2014 9:24

Wow. That's what this generation has come to.

ImmaEatYouXx 10

Thursday 13 February 2014 9:26

Well let's hope she doesn't become a teen mother...

Comments

furbyface711 9

Thursday 13 February 2014 15:39

I really hope you found her mother and told her what her asshole child did.

HAno97 12

Thursday 13 February 2014 15:59

wow...

TheReader0996 10

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:06

Ahhh I modded this :) I laughed for 5 minutes

Rosstine 6

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:12

Wow lol at least you didn't hit a real baby

doglover100 28

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:33

The stupidity of some people.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:46

Hunger games II?

Redundant_Idiot 7

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:53

My generation is zero. I don't want to live in the modern world.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 13 February 2014 19:46

I never made it as a working-class hero....

fabricatedego 5

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:58

that's messed up. sorry OP

Secret_Ninjaa 35

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:59

No faith in humanity.

edvin_fml 10

Thursday 13 February 2014 17:43

ah yes, a virgin sacrifice to appease the Gods of Vine

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 765

The Top

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 624

You deserved it 27 469

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 588

You deserved it 7 748

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 5 332

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 720

You deserved it 13 097

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 435