Health: Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly,...

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 3 069

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Same thing different taste

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 222

You deserved it 3 219

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 155

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 86

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 110

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 508

You deserved it 5 625

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 3 889

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 539

You deserved it 3 993

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 338

You deserved it 454

By Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 503

You deserved it 8 800

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 258

You deserved it 4 968

OhDearBetrayal 25

Monday 14 May 2012 9:22

Doesn't matter still pooped.

twinny_sc 13

Monday 14 May 2012 9:22

I hope for your sake you were at least at home and not in public.

Comments

soldiat_fml 17

Tuesday 15 May 2012 3:45

Well at least you pooped!

IacobucciB 0

Tuesday 15 May 2012 3:52

Aww crap... :)

ramboetan 0

Tuesday 15 May 2012 4:14

Go to the toilet next time

Litarius 8

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:29

Well at least you aren't in pain anymore... Just dirty...

kyle515 3

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:58

then where it happened, i hope its not in front of crowd.

karmicsamadi86 9

Tuesday 15 May 2012 18:44

Yikes!

hama806 19

Wednesday 16 May 2012 16:50

Bahahahaha! Classic!

Seaneh 0

Friday 18 May 2012 23:21

Meh, shit happens. (:

blink_kid 32

Thursday 28 June 2012 2:21

bitter-sweet moment huh?

Joui_fml 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 1:50

Eat healthier!

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I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 619

You deserved it 15 052

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You deserved it 894

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I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 164

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I agree, your life sucks 55 068

You deserved it 2 514

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I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 2 465

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I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 115

Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 614

You deserved it 3 885

Same thing different taste

Not now!

Slid right out

You need more fiber

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