Intimacy: Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over...

By homersgirl - 30/09/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 353

You deserved it 5 133

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 5 688

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 7 731

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 320

You deserved it 21 499

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 443

You deserved it 6 706

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 02:15 - Australia - Picton

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 5 879

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 372

You deserved it 6 168

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 692

You deserved it 6 404

thatpianoguy612 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:12

That. Is. Awesome.

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:14

Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?

Comments

Bloodknight 22

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

turkishjew 0

Monday 25 July 2011 4:21

bloodknight thinks that cuz he never been laid

missonedirection 6

Friday 6 April 2012 18:50

ahahahaha 75, clever ! lol

crazytiger16 8

Wednesday 29 August 2012 6:57

Doesn't matter, had sex!!! :D

melkymac101 17

Tuesday 18 March 2014 3:23

Whoever this is, I love you

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:09

first

degco44 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 0:01

You're the second, smart one. Epic fail.

pittspens 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 2:35

HAHA. EPIC.

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:11

fourth

thatpianoguy612 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:12

That. Is. Awesome.

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:13

sixth

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:14

Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:14

eighth

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:16

ninth

blakehilli8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:18

tenth bitch

youaresofucked 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:18

What made it amazing? Just to clarify....

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 9 534

Today, my bank card was skimmed (copied electronically) and my account was totally cleaned out. I had only just got paid and don't get paid again for 4 weeks. The bank says it will take 21 days minimum to resolve. They offered me a credit card with a huge interest rate to help me get by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 388

You deserved it 2 698

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 952

You deserved it 3 378

Today, I walked to an interview on my college campus. I got there early. The place was empty. I assumed I wrote the date wrong. Several hours later, a friend who also was interviewed asked me how my interview went. The date, time and location were all right. I don't know how I got lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 034

You deserved it 3 751

Today, my mother keeps nagging me to find a wife, settle down, and have kids, even though I have zero interest in any of those things. She refuses to understand that I’m perfectly content being completely on my own. She even signed me up to Tinder without my knowledge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 102

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 750

You deserved it 25 269

Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

Woof woof

Sore loser

Top comments

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