Work: Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were...

By GyroUpgraded - 20/07/2016 23:03 - United States - Portland

Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me, saying they don't do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 880

You deserved it 937

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 630

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 708

You deserved it 1 317

Quiet quitting time

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 04:00

Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 120

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 113

You deserved it 4 257

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 71 092

By level6 - 23/10/2010 22:11 - United States

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 3 478

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 180

You deserved it 2 799

By unlicensed - 01/08/2012 16:20 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 198

You deserved it 9 434

By aricababyy - 29/12/2016 05:09 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 820

You deserved it 594

By DantesInfernalRage - 12/09/2017 13:00

Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 933

You deserved it 260

fonkimonki 7

Thursday 21 July 2016 13:02

If only you had some way of communicating with these places at a distance. I suggest you use... hang on, my phone is ringing, brb

doemetoch 28

Thursday 21 July 2016 13:03

If for some reason your job needs you to do a drug test, shouldn't they at least be able to give you up to date information on where to get one, and then preferably pay the expenses? Or is that not how this whole drug testing-thing works? So weird that they even ask for such a thing.

Comments

PepaSpray54 2

Friday 22 July 2016 5:02

if it is worth the pay, why ye bab1tchhabing?

Colon_Man 17

Friday 22 July 2016 18:11

Uh-oh! Someone get me a drug testing kit, stat!

babs22291 15

Friday 22 July 2016 5:17

Where my hubby and I work, they have a full on medical center/ laboratory to do drug testing.

htownpostman 16

Sunday 24 July 2016 0:31

Your wording makes it sound like you're worried about passing.. Maybe (other that that ka-raaaazy idea of using a phone.. Lol) you say "so they can tell me I'm clean"