Animals: Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run...

By Anonymous - 08/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 882

You deserved it 2 732

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Same thing different taste

By TheHezzer - 21/02/2012 19:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 661

You deserved it 2 342

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 07:46 - Netherlands - Overveen

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 207

You deserved it 3 781

By umyuck - 03/05/2015 16:55 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 499

You deserved it 2 518

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 927

You deserved it 3 568

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 981

You deserved it 2 471

By Ewwwwww - 04/02/2010 18:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 742

You deserved it 3 350

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 3 340

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 172

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 040

You deserved it 2 547

SHAME!

By Poowee - 18/09/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 591

You deserved it 49 434

melonxxda 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 22:08

nobody give's a rat's ass anymore (:

NomOnShroomz 14

Tuesday 8 November 2011 22:18

"Today, I was walking through the sewer pipes minding my own business when I ended up in a toilet and some dumb bitch took a shit on me. FML"

Comments

Pebbles1290 8

Tuesday 29 November 2011 5:02

Note to self don't read fmls while on the toilet..

Pebbles1290 8

Tuesday 29 November 2011 5:02

Note to self don't read fmls while on the toilet..

shots1996 8

Saturday 10 December 2011 2:50

Bet it scared it right on outta you huh?

rcbarnes 24

Tuesday 10 January 2012 3:52

Better than the poisonous spiders who like to make webs in a toilet bowl to catch the bugs who seek the water inside...

GirlHoeForSale 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 12:54

That's because rats can hold there breath under water for 3 days

PedoPancakes 7

Sunday 29 January 2012 23:02

I found that out when I was 7 , my friend explained it to me in detail. And told me all the diseases rats could give you. Ahaha :P

BeeQueenbee60 4

Tuesday 24 September 2013 7:47

Not just rats, but snakes too!

abbey728 16

Thursday 10 July 2014 7:56

For a pee. One singular pee.

Ditagein 14

Wednesday 26 November 2014 20:43

i don't even think thats possible ?

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 7 May 2015 22:27

This makes me want to squat every time I take a shit.

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The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 231

The Top

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 443

You deserved it 10 197

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 8 594

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 635

You deserved it 33 488

Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophic report card. When I asked him for explanations, he replied, "I'm hesitating between family environment and heredity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 329

Today, I got kicked off the train because I refused to stand for an old lady who wanted to sit down. There was an empty seat right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 895

You deserved it 7 296

Today, I found out the rumors are true: my girlfriend is in fact cheating on me. I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact that she got busted for sex in a public park, or the fact that they’ve met up there several times to play Pokémon Go. Is that even a thing anymore?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 217

Same thing different taste

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

Ratatouille

SHAME!

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