Miscellaneous: Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest...

By oreoblizzard619 - 25/09/2012 12:13 - United States

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 561

You deserved it 3 200

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Same thing different taste

By fuuuudge - 19/08/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 656

You deserved it 3 734

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 6 608

By igiveup - 21/06/2012 18:19 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 809

You deserved it 11 585

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 3 989

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 113

You deserved it 3 251

By str3tch - 03/04/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 911

You deserved it 3 397

By biblepain - 28/03/2015 02:12 - United States - Tucson

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 222

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 761

You deserved it 6 945

By ohmylantis - 04/05/2011 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 238

You deserved it 3 732

perdix 29

Tuesday 25 September 2012 16:30

I'd call you Neither Noor, and you could call me Either Ore.

TheMaster15 10

Tuesday 25 September 2012 17:17

My first name is Forrest, I'm sure you can all guess what my last name usually gets to be haha

Comments

DustyStorm 16

Wednesday 26 September 2012 7:32

Skinny McKinney

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Wednesday 26 September 2012 7:34

My name is Larry. I don't get nicknames. Only Larry... T-T

Likian5 26

Wednesday 26 September 2012 9:14

Hopefully it doesn't mean that you came off as a push-over when you first met them...

nifa86 12

Wednesday 26 September 2012 13:33

Arhh original morons, how dull.

noisebox 1

Wednesday 26 September 2012 19:15

Time to not be nice to them anymore, with your new name of ' matt whose banging their daughter 'guy

duravian 1

Wednesday 26 September 2012 19:53

I call my friend Norman the Doorman, but it doesn't mean anything. Just rhymes..

amatoy 11

Wednesday 26 September 2012 21:48

Sometimes, people call me " 'Manda Panda."

teresee 8

Wednesday 26 September 2012 21:53

100 - Zechariah the pariah

ShannyAK 16

Wednesday 26 September 2012 22:45

Mines shanana banana

Jumpingmal2 7

Wednesday 26 September 2012 23:01

Some people call me jumpingmal, i hate it...

Keywords

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Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 622

You deserved it 42 679

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 095

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 080

You deserved it 2 280

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 211

You deserved it 31 191

Today, the new cute guy at work friended me, but when he saw all my posts about how I’m going to Australia in a week for a 2-year work study, he posted a sarcastic comment, then unfriended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 167

Today, my 5-year-old cousin came over. We were on the trampoline in my backyard when he fell off and started crying and screaming. While I was trying to comfort him, my mom came out yelling at me for "pushing him off the trampoline" and grounded me for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 425

You deserved it 389

Everything is under control...

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 98

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 330

You deserved it 2 459

Same thing different taste

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