Miscellaneous: Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt... - FML

By AmericanDream - 01/12/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 260

You deserved it 3 836

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 21 762

By Karaline45 - 15/12/2018 05:00

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 370

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 20 961

By dating a big bag of dicks - 13/05/2014 21:02 - United States

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 494

You deserved it 9 210

By JulieClaire - 11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 4 810

Definitely memorable

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 54 997

Bye bye Bambi

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 19:59

Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 130

By anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:07 - United States

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 583

You deserved it 1 001

Bad timing

By J…… - 12/05/2020 17:00

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 466

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

By SugarCoat - 08/06/2017 18:00

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 635

Next

Top comments

sidkid008 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 11:58

Welcome to America!

ScaughtieHolden 11

Thursday 1 December 2011 11:57

Now you can try venison.

Comments

steviesnm 6

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:29

Welcome to America. But remember to balance out that protein with a vegetable. I recommend pizza.

MrPichardo 2

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:35

Welcome to the USA

bayboo_kraziee 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:36

You saw your first majestic deer and you saw it die. Why would you even move here though? The economic situation is as bad as it can get.

arkid24 1

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:37

10 points, 2 for the possum and 20 for the old lady. Welcome to america

Eljah 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:39

That 10 points for the win!!!!

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:45

Welcome to America. Some places throw eggs at the new comers. Here, we throw deer.

Sugah_Shane1 2

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:52

Deer are like mice here. They aren't majestic after they hit your vehicle a couple times and eat your garden. Deer are pricks

mikeymayhem_87 15

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:58

The real trick is not hitting a deer, unless it is on purpose. So if you're starving or need a new car, then by all means.... Hit a deer!! Otherwise, best of luck trying to avoid these damn things when they jump out you when you least expect it!

backoffmyshiz_fml 4

Thursday 1 December 2011 15:59

Seriously people..if you said "deers" go back to school. The plural version of deer is still deer.

eggy911 7

Thursday 1 December 2011 16:00

Majestic?

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 131

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, my coworker tested positive for Covid. Here's to working 11 hours shifts for the next 10 days to help cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 118

Today, I started training my replacement for my job. My replacement already makes more money per hour than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 407

You deserved it 1 521

Today, I got home from a long, stressful day at class to hear my grandma screaming from inside the barn. I quickly dropped all my things and ran in to see what was going on. Did something fall on her? Was there an animal attacking the horses? No. A pigeon had gotten into the barn. I had to chase it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 233

You deserved it 308

Today, my husband actually helped put our 4 year-old to bed because I was watching my nephews, who were about to be picked up. When I was sitting with my nephews in the living room, he yelled for me to help with our daughter. I said I couldn’t and he told me to shut up. I put her to bed every other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 139

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 046

You deserved it 55 249

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 658

You deserved it 7 937