Miscellaneous: Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt... - FML

By AmericanDream - 01/12/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 260

You deserved it 3 836

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 21 762

By Karaline45 - 15/12/2018 05:00

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 370

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 20 961

By dating a big bag of dicks - 13/05/2014 21:02 - United States

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 494

You deserved it 9 210

By JulieClaire - 11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 4 810

Definitely memorable

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 54 997

Bye bye Bambi

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 19:59

Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 130

By anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:07 - United States

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 583

You deserved it 1 001

Bad timing

By J…… - 12/05/2020 17:00

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 466

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

By SugarCoat - 08/06/2017 18:00

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 635

Next

Top comments

sidkid008 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 11:58

Welcome to America!

ScaughtieHolden 11

Thursday 1 December 2011 11:57

Now you can try venison.

Comments

strawberryy522 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 18:20

America has horrible healthcare. Why the hell would you move here? Move to Britain. They have socialized medicine and it's cheep to live there.(:

strawberryy522 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 18:20

America has horrible healthcare. Why the hell would you move here? Move to Britain. They have socialized medicine and it's cheep to live there.(:

sallymander779 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 19:18

Really? America has horrible healthcare? Coming from the country who has a bigger obesity problem than America.

024906421 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 18:34

This is fake>.< they already speak perfect "American". Majestic is a word used only in America. People need to stop making up FML's for attention.

cheerluv15 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 18:43

It happens a lot in America. Especially in West Virginia.

AngryBlckMan13 2

Thursday 1 December 2011 18:55

Welcome to Amer'ri'ca darlin'... I suggest you start packin' just incase one of those rednecks gets the wrong idea. *Packin' =carrying a gun*

sicwitit 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 19:31

welcome to America

gadzok 3

Thursday 1 December 2011 19:43

Welcome to America, home of AWESOME. Congrats on seeing a "majestic" deer and joining the crowd of Vehicle hunters. Now go buy a gun and shoot one of the "majestic" deer, and find out just how nasty they are. Oh and take one more step to being a 'Merican.

CrimsonViolets 11

Thursday 1 December 2011 19:50

oh beautiful for spacious skies... *screeches* OH SHIT!!

shrdlu 28

Thursday 1 December 2011 20:13

For better or worse, that's common in America. I hear Australia has a similar problem, but with kangaroos... bodies all along the sides of highways.

JenniferTheDark 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 20:36

Sorry about your car :( But, as everyone else says, welcome to America :)

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Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Mental health Work Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Art Photography Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 126

The Top

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 082

You deserved it 4 371

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 23 608

Today, after a lifetime of yoga, pilates, and general fitness to stay thin and healthy, five years of chronic pain and weight gaining treatments have rapidly made it so my 68 year-old mother, who never exercised and eats like crap, has a better looking body then me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 214

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had sex with my sister, but it's ok because I'm better in bed. He seriously doesn't understand why I dumped his sorry ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 972

You deserved it 2 214

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 112

You deserved it 54 720

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 093

You deserved it 6 121