By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 419
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

ChiackenMaster 2

I gotta say... totally deserved it. When I, at 8, decided that I wanted kids one day I began working on not making any noise when I experience pain. Since then I have been on fire, had my left index finger hit with a sledgehammer (wicked scar!) and fallen out of a 60 foot tree only to land in an unpleasant way on the lowest branch after hitting many of the branches on the way down (to preempt any jokes: it was a gorgeous tree, if a tree can indeed be gorgeous). The sledgehammer elicited a "huh... that's lovely." Heck, I'm even trying to cut curses out of my life. It's called being a parent. Work on it.

0 20
Emperorerror 8

If you actually did break your toe, and you're not just saying it hurt, FYL. Definitely. I hope you're okay.

0 3
awesomelikethat 0

It's actually a funny story you and she can tell to others later in life. And you will probably laugh at this memory.

1 4
lilyisme1324 0

Haha very nice! Good job u must b a very proud father right now:)

1 3
_Full_of_excuses 5

Lol, that is actually very funny.

0 1
Breebaby_xo 2

my first word was 'penis', my sister was 15 at the time and had fun mind ******* me :(

3 1
SleepingMonster 0

Let her cry herself to sleep, she should learn how to self-sooth. That sounds mean, but you are doing more harm than good when you coddle her.

1 3