By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 419
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

Honda288 2

Well that sucks, but it made an awesome FML at least.

0 0
MedChew 19

No big deal man, apparently I even learned to use "**** this" (in my own dialect) in the right context at the tender age of 17 months old (one of my toys was stuck in some crevice apparently. She probably won't remember it if you don't reinforce this new thing

2 2
sandySF 0

It happens, no worries :)

1 2
nvo 6

I feel your pain, OP. May i recommend the perfect picture book to lighten the mood: Go the F**k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach, Ricardo Cortés. There's also a stone cold video of Samuel L.Jackson reading the book. Much needed comic relief for new parents :)

5 0
jdengel 0

really? you can't control your outbursts? I know it hurts, but your a big boy now

1 12
NAAMxLOOS 11

You managed to break your toe by stubbing it? That's... that's amazing, OP. What an incredible accomplishment.

0 3
jd70 1

its okay my first word was crackhead

1 3
luckySLevin 0

hey at least its not please dnt rape me. i said that next my friends daughter and she repeated it for four days in a row.

0 3
jmm23 0

I hear a shart coming my way

1 17
DocBastard 38

You do? Because I swore in front of my kid? Wow. You don't know what a relationship is, do you?

10 0
Rainbow_dumpster 28

180 must be a virgin, Doc. He knows nothing about love.

5 1