By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 419
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

THE_A_TEEN 27

All you need is to teach her the word "BASTARD" and you're set. ******* bastard...

16 1
Forlorn420 9

Her first sentence will be "**** THAT DUDE" haha

0 5
structuredchaoz 4

Have your child checked for milk and soy allergies. If she's cring all night she likely has stomach discomfort. Don't feed your child soy. Ever.

0 13
Norsk_Emily 8

He's referring to the fact that DocBastard's child was up all night crying and was giving a possibility as to why she might've been crying... Or at least I think that's what they're referring to...

1 2
iwadasn 32

Wow, your wife will be pissed at you. I'm guessing you'll be sleeping on the couch for awhile...

0 4
gofastguy 3

The look on moms face when your kid actually says it will be priceless

2 2
IntoTheClouds 42

The first and only FML posted is published. Well done.

4 1