Poopoo peepee and Health: Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally...

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By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 229

You deserved it 3 222

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 798

You deserved it 3 070

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 40 925

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 3 891

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 115

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 216

You deserved it 3 497

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 566

You deserved it 5 938

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 5 628

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 523

You deserved it 869

Whoops

By chubbs - 28/05/2014 21:07 - United States - Vacaville

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 249

You deserved it 3 783

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 772

You deserved it 3 887

alkaid 14

Saturday 29 January 2011 12:22

" the point of no return" ? that sounds like an epic shit you got there

TahoeFMler 22

Saturday 29 January 2011 12:20

Um duh, don't answer them and do your business!

Comments

stingray626 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:03

20 thats wat im saying lol lucky lil crybabies haha

JenL_fml 7

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:22

how is this an fml again?? :/

hahachun 4

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:36

I like to tap you. you have nice eyes

saladgirl123 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:42

um so what..you should just be happy you got it out they can wait.

perdix 29

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:48

I'm sure one of the big turds you pushed out was your grammar. When you have a list of two things (land line and doorbell), you should use "both." "All" is for lists of three or more things. You should eat more fiber to keep your stool looser, ya looser! ;)