Intimacy: Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about...

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 422

You deserved it 4 839

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Maria39018 - 01/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 526

You deserved it 13 712

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 4 730

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 4 326

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 099

You deserved it 5 137

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 096

You deserved it 5 793

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 971

You deserved it 6 084

The Lovecats

By HaedLei - 26/11/2013 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 264

You deserved it 5 873

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 5 731

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 122

You deserved it 5 251

By maybe if i was paid like them i would - 14/08/2015 22:42 - United States - Houston

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 429

You deserved it 2 612

tacovender 7

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:19

Nothing like dipping your head in a dirty toilet during sex!

graham11 14

Saturday 3 December 2011 5:20

And...that's when you wish life had an undo button.

Comments

CLongaker 2

Sunday 4 December 2011 8:23

Want a new bf?

AliCat18 12

Saturday 10 December 2011 14:46

#170 i would understand if you were 50 but youre 15 and you dont know what bf means! really! my dad knows what it means! bf= boyfriend!

dopefreshh19 3

Sunday 4 December 2011 10:00

Lol what's that?

momo1972 3

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:48

Well get on with it, you opened the door

bearsy 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 17:45

Wait you mean like head in toliet right?

Namenlos_fml 20

Sunday 4 December 2011 22:16

You're the one who asked.

Sionnach 10

Monday 5 December 2011 11:43

'Anything'... possibly the most dangerous word in the English language.

mrmerino 0

Monday 5 December 2011 16:30

Ahhh! Oh my god that's hilarious!

Omgplz 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 3:55

"he put my head in a toilet" -"still counts!"

Scarlettx7 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 7:03

That's sick !

xMRxLAMAx 0

Friday 9 December 2011 21:47

So? shove his head in the toilet?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 11 207

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 840

The Top

Today, my girlfriend has become completely obsessed with YouTube makeup tutorials. She’s already beautiful and used to take 30 minutes tops to get ready. Now every time we leave the house, it’s some 2-hour paint session where she ends up looking like an unrecognizable fucking psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 154

Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 773

You deserved it 89 666

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 42 529

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 4 764

Today, my only friend got banned from my house, all because she kissed her boyfriend in front of me. I'm 16, but apparently I can't handle seeing a kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 217

You deserved it 1 602

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 218

You deserved it 4 641