Animals: Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself...

By Heww - 28/09/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 374

You deserved it 5 376

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 21:57 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 815

You deserved it 4 652

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 238

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 232

You deserved it 450

That escalated quickly

By lonelyharts86 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 256

You deserved it 3 900

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 519

You deserved it 11 330

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 3 190

Rushed off my feet

By Anja - 05/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 498

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 129

By Stoopiddogbot - 12/02/2013 13:18 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 522

You deserved it 4 387

iSmellNice 2

Monday 28 September 2009 16:12

I feel your pain. I love donuts.

Darsa 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:18

At least you still had your milk :)

Comments

stupidwhatever24 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:33

YDI for owning such a dumb dog (and doing nothing about it...)

Cristaderzi 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:00

Thats why as soon as I finish cooking etc I put ALL MY pets in the basement or a room so I can eat in peace...

i_got_it 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:05

damn... they still got krispy kremes???? thats craaazy..

IronysMe 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:16

your dog was doing you a favor; be thankful that someone cares about your arteries :) if the sight of your doughnut made him vom, does that really sound like something you should be putting into your body, especially one that needs to get through such long shifts? haha.

jikiboyo 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:32

not to be a douchebag because that is a truly messed up situation, but that made me laugh. i guess it was the visual of the whole situation that did it for me.

pshnoway 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:41

YDI for eating Krispy Kreme. Also for not properly training your dog.

Fred_Burroughs 0

Monday 28 September 2009 21:25

Krispy Creme doughnuts are the most overrated doughnuts I've ever had. Shipley's blows them out of the water.

hahahathatsuxs 0

Monday 28 September 2009 22:04

It probably did you a big favor, you probably don't need a box of doughnuts.

fegd 0

Monday 28 September 2009 22:04

YDI. That's what people get for having pets. I'll NEVER understand the amount of people who seem to forget their pets are ******* irrational and then come here to complain about shit said pets have done. Get real.

Dr_Balls 0

Monday 28 September 2009 22:20

fegd, I really have to hope you've haven't had a pet in a very long time, because you are obviously out of touch with why people choose to house them.