Food and Health: Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML

By agnosticstudy - 28/01/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 940

You deserved it 27 741

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Same thing different taste

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 063

You deserved it 7 158

Sadly discontinued

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 08:17 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 207

You deserved it 40 993

By ladytyy - 27/07/2011 23:45 - United States

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 198

You deserved it 3 580

Everyone loves a weepie

By CheeseAndCrackers - 30/04/2020 08:00

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 275

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 5 898

By FeedMe - 27/05/2011 10:45 - United States

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 922

You deserved it 5 676

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 946

You deserved it 8 308

By FoodNeeded - 25/08/2016 02:24 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 562

You deserved it 2 053

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 919

You deserved it 15 488

For Life

By worshippingatthethrone - 17/02/2022 10:00

Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 615

ATorpedo 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 3:57

Where is the "I agree, your life is delicious" option?

xcardixx 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 18:13

yummmm (=

Comments

Gorsbug823 0

Friday 11 June 2010 6:23

who moderated this?

theice 0

Sunday 4 July 2010 8:02

how old r u 11 that's all I ate then and lots of people do

ladi16 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 7:41

are freaking kidding thats not a FML moment !

11colio11 4

Wednesday 7 July 2010 20:32

pizza pops are better

isaiaha11 2

Tuesday 27 July 2010 4:17

not a fml

evilangel911 0

Monday 2 August 2010 12:55

been there done that... just take vitamins ... it works ... lol

Brendan3693 0

Friday 27 August 2010 7:14

jim gaffigans segment on hot pockets?

Brendan3693 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:28

listen to the Jim gaffigan segment on this plz

Gazarok 0

Friday 24 September 2010 16:53

hell yeah! hot pockets are awesome! hope you have a high metabolism so it doesnt get to you though

pwincessa23 1

Friday 18 March 2011 23:55

a ******. lol jk

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The Top

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 138

You deserved it 28 440

Today, I moved in with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own. I now pay 100% of the bills and can't leave because I can't save to replace my stolen/totaled car. I also can't drop my mask at home because 33 is apparently to old to be autistic, and I'm so tired and burnt out. I'm also not allowed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 145

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 7 269

Today, some jacked-up dude who spends way too much time in the gym actually flipped my car onto its roof, while his friends filmed it, because he said I’d parked in a disabled bay, and he was gonna expose me on YouTube. He must have felt a right fool when he realised it wasn’t even a disabled bay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 88

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 398

Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 135

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 530

You deserved it 12 563