Miscellaneous: Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 591

You deserved it 51 121

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 140

You deserved it 5 953

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 980

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 775

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 03:00

Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 390

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 462

By skc - 14/03/2009 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 65 057

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 24 811

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 486

You deserved it 28 089

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 512

You deserved it 3 124

Hurry up

By lauren_rox - 08/11/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 433

You deserved it 13 712

GameRater01 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 11:07

YDI for using self tanner. Tanner cream = instant oompaloompa

Internets_ 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 10:27

I call BS. Unless you had mistaken your tanning lotion for moisturizer or unless you answer your phone with your feet this seems unlikely. You would have noticed tanning lotion on your phone when you picked it up unless you're an idiot.

Comments

Carosello 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 21:22

... self tanning is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of... it's so fake if you can't tan, deal with it but then what would I know? I tan in an instant :) some of us are just born lucky

2legit2quitnow 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 21:40

if you use baking soda and water, it takes off any self tanner

Raine_Sage 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 22:26

#4, maybe it was, you know, an actual phone, rather than a cell phone. The OP was probably in her house when this happened, and it would make sense for a normal land-line phone to be there. Maybe it was an old-fashioned one that didn't have caller ID.

dammn 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 22:31

LMAO #10 .

Blardo 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:12

You should instead go to a tanner for some cancer.

waxstigmata 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 0:21

perhaps you should use some none crappy tanner, or better yet none at all, nothing wrong with pale skin, i don't see how making yourself orange is going to make you look any better, ydi for using tanner