Intimacy: Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me...

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 566

You deserved it 3 394

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Same thing different taste

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 828

You deserved it 2 430

By Anonymous - 21/12/2016 23:13

Today, I went to my parents house to secretly collect all of their home videos and convert them to DVDs as a Christmas gift. Among them I found a sex tape my parents had made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 777

You deserved it 3 658

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 078

You deserved it 15 372

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 325

You deserved it 5 644

Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 500

You deserved it 39 901

By tacoboy27 - 21/12/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 696

You deserved it 3 562

By Anon - 26/12/2015 02:03 - United States

Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 552

You deserved it 1 394

By VCDUDE11FTW - 25/12/2014 09:13 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 623

You deserved it 16 356

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 23:47 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 327

You deserved it 2 176

Snooping

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 11:15 - Australia

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for Christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 589

You deserved it 76 915

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:34

So did you have a white Christmas?

ps2stony 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:12

Lols that's gross to fap to the same thing your dad did

Comments

seth787 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 5:50

That's a pretty good present

MissAmz 7

Saturday 23 June 2012 12:06

OP, all your dad was doing was giving you something that obviously brought him immense joy back in the day. It's the thought that counts.. :)

AWESOMESAUCE365 0

Friday 13 July 2012 10:35

A very merry Christmas(; just kidding!

blackmauser95 3

Saturday 17 November 2012 18:46

Sell them for big$

profligatesoul 18

Tuesday 5 March 2013 3:04

And you're complaining?!

Epickitty58 29

Saturday 28 June 2014 7:45

Well, I hope you have fun tonight.

GnaR_KiLL5150 12

Tuesday 19 August 2014 19:58

Vintage man, that's an awesome gift. You'll appreciate it later, I'm assuming your young.

Pyrithium 8

Thursday 16 October 2014 5:07

Your dad was dreaming of a White Christmas

fosra 6

Wednesday 15 June 2016 6:39

The gift that keeps on giving

ThrottleJockey 35

Tuesday 26 December 2017 0:09

Bow chicka bow wow. On another note; could you even open the pages or was it like leafing through old school colleges of glued magazine photos?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

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USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 417

You deserved it 6 054

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 62 384

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 5 476

Today, my brother let us know his wife was in labour. I rang him a few hours later to ask how it was going. I wasn’t expecting him to switch to video chat to show me “The Miracle.” I now know what my sister-in-law's vagina looks like in the middle of birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 133

Today, I went to visit my aunt who lives 6 hours away from me. Her car was missing from her driveway, but she's unemployed and barely leaves the house. Turns out, she moved in with her new boyfriend and didn't tell anyone, so I had to drive 6 hours back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 494

Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 7 012

Same thing different taste

Old school cool

Code of silence

Snooping

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