Intimacy: Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took...

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 476

You deserved it 3 671

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 907

You deserved it 4 923

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 85 115

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 748

You deserved it 8 518

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 468

You deserved it 9 862

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 3 765

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 58 994

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 025

You deserved it 11 617

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 877

You deserved it 53 386

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 571

You deserved it 32 066

Pectus excavatum!

By Embarrassing Deformity - 29/07/2023 03:00

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 123

C19_fml 9

Monday 1 October 2012 2:47

Very curious to see what "it's supposed to look like"..

Psych101 9

Monday 1 October 2012 2:47

At least she was nice about it. If she had just left, she wouldn't have been worth your time.

Comments

toughchick14 15

Monday 1 October 2012 2:50

Ouch! Sorry OP, I'm sure she didn't mean it like that.

jebdhsiqbs 1

Monday 1 October 2012 2:51

Sue her

SkyBirdy 5

Monday 1 October 2012 2:52

Don't worry, I'm a tranny too.

hopsinlove17 26

Monday 1 October 2012 2:54

What...? I'm frightened now. O.O

the_enigma1019 1

Monday 1 October 2012 2:55

Well, google is your friend.

Trisha_aus 15

Monday 1 October 2012 6:25

But he's friends with everyone these days..busy guy he is.

_krystallynn_ 11

Monday 1 October 2012 3:00

so what was wrong with it?

Austyn57 1

Monday 1 October 2012 3:04

what a biotch

duckyeah 6

Monday 1 October 2012 3:04

That's such a terrible thing to say! Even if she was joking... I'm sorry, OP! Don't let that ruin your self-confidence.

C19_fml 9

Monday 1 October 2012 3:04

It's not "weird", some people's parents just have different preferences on whether their child gets it done or not.

DespairFaction 11

Monday 1 October 2012 3:05

The problem is you didn't yell KABOOM or something like that.

RpiesSPIES 27

Monday 1 October 2012 3:06

Maybe she means that she knows what they should realisticly look like instead of a 10 inch long extension.

Keywords

Christmas Holidays Family Toxic AITA Love Coworkers Furniture Miscellaneous Parents Intimacy Sex Lonely Relatable Money Health Kids Television Roommate Amazon You're fired Work Cheating Computers Anger issues Mental health Dentist Painful I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 335

You deserved it 4 257

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 332

You deserved it 41 023

The Top

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 392

You deserved it 3 783

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 674

You deserved it 4 373

Today, I went to the gym to try out a new workout class. Halfway through, I realized I was in the wrong room and had accidentally joined a dance class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 745

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 009

You deserved it 60 637

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 92

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 626

You deserved it 4 964

Same thing different taste

Beginner

Pectus excavatum!

Top comments

Comments