Intimacy: Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took...

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 476

You deserved it 3 671

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Same thing different taste

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 907

You deserved it 4 923

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 85 115

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 748

You deserved it 8 518

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 468

You deserved it 9 862

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 3 765

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 58 994

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 025

You deserved it 11 617

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 877

You deserved it 53 386

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 571

You deserved it 32 066

Pectus excavatum!

By Embarrassing Deformity - 29/07/2023 03:00

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 123

C19_fml 9

Monday 1 October 2012 2:47

Very curious to see what "it's supposed to look like"..

Psych101 9

Monday 1 October 2012 2:47

At least she was nice about it. If she had just left, she wouldn't have been worth your time.

Comments

doubleup_fml 3

Monday 1 October 2012 4:13

Since she seems to have experience she might be good in bed.. As long as you're big enough for her to feel it.

nuffsaidboutthat 4

Tuesday 2 October 2012 18:54

My virgin radar just exploded reading this

rebel_belle1974 5

Monday 1 October 2012 4:16

at least she didn't burst out laughing :/

MissSmartenup 4

Monday 1 October 2012 4:20

Hmmm I think 6 wanted to answer to 5...

HappyBeach 4

Monday 1 October 2012 4:52

Sounds like a nice girl congrats

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 1 October 2012 4:55

The **** did I just read?! =]

Rommel1942 9

Monday 1 October 2012 4:56

Da FUQ did I just read!?

ObeyStudKing 4

Monday 1 October 2012 5:02

Hey at least she was being honest. Don't complain.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 1 October 2012 5:05

Fudge.

flufflybuttons 4

Monday 1 October 2012 5:31

dump her

MissMae93 23

Monday 1 October 2012 6:13

I agree with 45 & 53 - you've got some balls to be bashing appearances and personal choices. Yikes.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at work, our customer service chat was empty all day, so I got up to go to bathroom. In the two minutes I was gone, three people tried to chat with me. Then I got a call from my manager, asking me why I wasn't doing my job. He told me to give advanced notice next time I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 119

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 250

You deserved it 79 289

The Top

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 600

Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 666

You deserved it 262

Today, I received a call offering me a job with the census bureau. I applied for this job 6 months ago while I was still fighting tooth and nail to stay where I was. Since I didn't get the job, I was evicted from my apartment, got on public assistance, and moved from North Carolina to Florida with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 700

You deserved it 2 549

Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 1 411

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me having phone sex with another guy. He either didn't notice or didn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 5 234

Today, my internet got shut off. Apparently off-brand "Avengers" porn is better copyright-protected than the actual movie. We looked it up as a joke, didn't watch the whole thing, and now have to visit the Suddenlink office to get our internet back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 056

You deserved it 1 357

Same thing different taste

Beginner

Pectus excavatum!

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