Health: Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in... - FML

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 463

You deserved it 4 152

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Same thing different taste

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 5 959

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 827

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 1 472

By MarchingNightmare - 16/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. Four of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 227

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 814

Life is just great

By someone something - 27/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 69

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 2 119

By BloodyMarry - 04/06/2013 17:53 - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 759

You deserved it 4 754

Themed

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 05:03 - United States - Burlington

Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 147

Next

Top comments

Primus_fml 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:38

"Get out of the bathroom, you've been in there since last year!"

kweenbitch 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 19:54

lay off the blow for a bit.

Comments

jordanjr 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 3:59

catherine were u from

alice490 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:30

how is that fml?

jermaine5150 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:55

your life sucks, because you're dumb enough to think this is actually a big deal.

gregomania_fml 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 6:58

i was asleep.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 2 January 2011 7:48

While I'm sure Catherine is composing a haiku praising your incredible grammar and spelling skills at this very moment, please keep your flirting to private messages. Alternately, you can always try your local strip club. I'm sure you'll have just as much success picking up a girl there as here. Best of luck.

coco9875 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:10

ha when the clock striked 12 some hot guy in boxers knocked on the wrong hotel door. LOL

kcoolbeans94 7

Sunday 2 January 2011 9:08

I have 3+ nosebleeds a day. You've got to learn to go with the flow. (pun intended) heh heh

Mikeers 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 9:30

haha well I was spreading peanut butter on a mouse trap at my friends house :)

ifeelfckd 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 10:17

Grow up baby.

ThatLooksSticky 16

Sunday 2 January 2011 11:08

"Having a nosebleed" is a wacky British euphemism for sex, right?

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 067

You deserved it 410

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 350

The Top

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed, "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 3 504

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 583

You deserved it 7 838

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 922

You deserved it 5 601

Today, I tried to contact a support group for parents of mentally ill adult children, because I’m at the end of my rope. Turns out there are none in my area and if I want one I’ll have to start it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 106

Today, I finally got to see the professional photographs taken at the wedding I recently attended. I can't find a single picture of myself that I like. I was the bride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 035

You deserved it 1 841

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864 325

You deserved it 94 912