Health: Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in... - FML

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 4 151

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High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 5 956

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 2 825

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 1 471

By MarchingNightmare - 16/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. Four of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 227

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 118

You deserved it 3 813

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 2 119

By BloodyMarry - 04/06/2013 17:53 - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 758

You deserved it 4 754

Themed

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 05:03 - United States - Burlington

Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 147

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 729

You deserved it 6 070

Next

Top comments

Primus_fml 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:38

"Get out of the bathroom, you've been in there since last year!"

kweenbitch 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 19:54

lay off the blow for a bit.

Comments

jordanjr 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 3:59

catherine were u from

alice490 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:30

how is that fml?

jermaine5150 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:55

your life sucks, because you're dumb enough to think this is actually a big deal.

gregomania_fml 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 6:58

i was asleep.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 2 January 2011 7:48

While I'm sure Catherine is composing a haiku praising your incredible grammar and spelling skills at this very moment, please keep your flirting to private messages. Alternately, you can always try your local strip club. I'm sure you'll have just as much success picking up a girl there as here. Best of luck.

coco9875 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:10

ha when the clock striked 12 some hot guy in boxers knocked on the wrong hotel door. LOL

kcoolbeans94 7

Sunday 2 January 2011 9:08

I have 3+ nosebleeds a day. You've got to learn to go with the flow. (pun intended) heh heh

Mikeers 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 9:30

haha well I was spreading peanut butter on a mouse trap at my friends house :)

ifeelfckd 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 10:17

Grow up baby.

ThatLooksSticky 16

Sunday 2 January 2011 11:08

"Having a nosebleed" is a wacky British euphemism for sex, right?

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Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 4 058

You deserved it 270

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the man's house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us, "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 252

You deserved it 6 030

Today, my best friends became friends with my ex-girlfriend, saying she was really nice. I found this to be an awful lot of BS because my ex didn't even like me, and liked someone else while dating me. That was an arsehole move. My friends all became friendly with her, disregarding my presence, and saying she's "so nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 194