Health: Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in...

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 463

You deserved it 4 152

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Same thing different taste

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 5 959

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 827

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 1 472

By MarchingNightmare - 16/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. Four of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 227

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 814

Life is just great

By someone something - 27/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 69

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 2 119

By BloodyMarry - 04/06/2013 17:53 - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 759

You deserved it 4 754

Themed

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 05:03 - United States - Burlington

Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 147

Primus_fml 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:38

"Get out of the bathroom, you've been in there since last year!"

kweenbitch 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 19:54

lay off the blow for a bit.

Comments

thegoodlife101 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:42

daaamn cokeheads stealin my thunder

thegoodlife101 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:44

oh commmon shove a tampon in it! happy new years

Evii_fml 5

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:50

Hahah nice one!

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:57

Is that a wacky British euphemism for sex?

Person1233 12

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:08

No, or else this would be on My Life is Bro.

Dark_Charizard 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:16

Dude. WTF?

youngclench 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:12

Aha! So did my buddy at my party

bigjohnson101 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:15

aww

samantha_142 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:21

you should have taken a tissue and held it on your nose to watch the ball drop.

Buddy360 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:39

Did you get into a bar fight?

taniaaaaa 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:41

That sucks :( But.. Happy New Year (:

rooisRAD 4

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:56

Forgot it was the New Year. I was playing Minecraft.

DiNoBeAr 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:03

once you start playing Minecraft, time creases to exsist

azshadilia 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 1:12

As the clock struck midnight here I was laying on my friends bathroom floor with a migraine!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

The Top

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 494

You deserved it 10 075

Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 381

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 765

You deserved it 6 967

Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 585

You deserved it 2 123

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 841

Today, I was diagnosed with a tumor and had to cancel on the holidays with my crush of 4 years. He is taking another girl with him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 498

You deserved it 205