Health: Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in...

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 4 151

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Same thing different taste

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 5 956

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 2 825

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 1 471

By MarchingNightmare - 16/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. Four of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 227

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 118

You deserved it 3 813

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 2 119

By BloodyMarry - 04/06/2013 17:53 - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 758

You deserved it 4 754

Themed

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 05:03 - United States - Burlington

Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 147

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 729

You deserved it 6 070

Primus_fml 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:38

"Get out of the bathroom, you've been in there since last year!"

kweenbitch 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 19:54

lay off the blow for a bit.

Comments

thegoodlife101 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:42

daaamn cokeheads stealin my thunder

thegoodlife101 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:44

oh commmon shove a tampon in it! happy new years

Evii_fml 5

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:50

Hahah nice one!

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:57

Is that a wacky British euphemism for sex?

Person1233 12

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:08

No, or else this would be on My Life is Bro.

Dark_Charizard 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:16

Dude. WTF?

youngclench 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:12

Aha! So did my buddy at my party

bigjohnson101 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:15

aww

samantha_142 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:21

you should have taken a tissue and held it on your nose to watch the ball drop.

Buddy360 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:39

Did you get into a bar fight?

taniaaaaa 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:41

That sucks :( But.. Happy New Year (:

rooisRAD 4

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:56

Forgot it was the New Year. I was playing Minecraft.

DiNoBeAr 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:03

once you start playing Minecraft, time creases to exsist

azshadilia 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 1:12

As the clock struck midnight here I was laying on my friends bathroom floor with a migraine!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 4 746

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 109

Today, my daughter broke up with her boyfriend and moved back in with me, because he kept doing things like inviting her on dates, trying to talk to her, and even, god forbid, trying to have sex with her. All this apparently got in the way of her watching anime 24/7. I'm never getting rid of her, am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 480

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 216

You deserved it 73 482

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 434

You deserved it 10 309

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 886

You deserved it 8 332

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 9 045