Miscellaneous: Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg... - FML

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 625

You deserved it 4 702

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Same thing different taste

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 398

You deserved it 3 345

By why? - 01/05/2015 13:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 6 459

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 612

You deserved it 15 138

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 637

You deserved it 3 068

By firehurts - 08/06/2015 23:38 - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 294

You deserved it 2 732

Heart of Glass

By blahblahblah - 15/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 225

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 1 284

By cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 2 525

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 4 988

By frownyface - 14/01/2012 17:32 - United States

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 617

You deserved it 3 199

Next

Top comments

loganberrybat 11

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:11

What were you doing at a candlelit dinner with your dad...

MrSassypants 33

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:11

I guess that makes him a liar liar.

Comments

vikky538 28

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:21

should I agree with this FML for OP having a candlelit dinner with her dad or for the fact that she put her dad's leg on fire...

MandyMeow_fml 18

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:22

And those are the memories you will never forget

blueballs1988 9

Wednesday 7 January 2015 17:08

Pyrophilia* it only has one L not two.

NevermoreRoses 20

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:27

I don't even want to know what this fetish is called.

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:34

Pyrophillia?

kerstileann 26

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:39

Its called "Wax Play" and yes it is a real fetish.

emmama19 15

Wednesday 7 January 2015 3:10

If you're relating this comment to others questioning whether or not this was a romantic dinner with her dad... Then it would be under the term 'incest'. However I'm quite sure this was not a romantic dinner to begin with.

dylanhasemann 9

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:37

Talk about a hot date

MRSwick2525 23

Wednesday 7 January 2015 1:15

No Dude, just noooo.

sweetnsourrr 11

Wednesday 7 January 2015 6:14

Yes dude, just yesssss!

Clayton87 13

Wednesday 7 January 2015 1:29

Am I the only one who would like more details on this? How did u set yours dad's leg on fire?

lysx84 24

Wednesday 7 January 2015 10:38

With. A. Candle.

justinccp 8

Wednesday 7 January 2015 1:54

I'm sorry but this made me laugh. You obviously had great intentions & sometimes things just happen haha - I'm sure you both will have a long laugh afterward / makes funny memories as long as everyone is alright

patrickalamo 47

Wednesday 7 January 2015 2:23

It has a hot time...

randomguy76 14

Wednesday 7 January 2015 3:31

At least it will give everyone something to talk about

wvcheesehead 13

Wednesday 7 January 2015 4:11

Dinner and a show.

thankssomuch 11

Wednesday 7 January 2015 4:24

My question is.. Why were you at a candlelit dinner with your father?

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The Top

Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 060

You deserved it 581

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

The Top

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 2 679

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 991

You deserved it 88 475

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 2 279

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 325

You deserved it 5 249

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 502

You deserved it 4 891

Today, I went for a hike with the local search and rescue volunteer group that I recently joined. I got lost and spent 5 hours wandering aimlessly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 842

You deserved it 15 060